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Fatherhood and succession are on display when he tries to get his daughter to run for parliament, but she runs a flower shop instead.
Technology utterly destroys him when he tries to order a hit on a rival using a smartphone, but he accidentally sends the text to a group chat that includes his wife, his publicist, and the Prime Minister.
Fame and recognition are his goal when he tries to get a wax figure in Madame Tussauds, and they put him in the “horror” section next to the serial killers, which he is oddly proud of.
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Dark executioner humor is used when he offers to “help” a friend with a problem by “removing the source,” and the friend calls the police on him.
Technology defeats him when he tries to use a smart speaker and it keeps playing French music, which sends him into a rage.
Technology and modern life consistently baffle him, but the funniest sequence involves him trying to order a hit on his wife using the dark web, only to accidentally hire a Nigerian prince scammer who drains his bank account and sends him a heartfelt email about love. His confusion over QR codes leads to him trying to eat them, and his first experience with virtual reality leaves him convinced he has been transported to a magic realm and he starts trying to conquer it. This technological illiteracy is a constant source of physical and verbal comedy that never gets old.
The court jester reversal is complete when his therapist makes him do role-play, and Henry has to play the jester while the therapist plays the king, and he realizes how ridiculous he is.
The finale is bittersweet as he writes his own epitaph that says “Here lies Henry, who finally shut up,” and he laughs at his own joke.
The rivalry with Francis I is hilarious when he sees a French car and puts a “vote remain” sticker on it as a joke.
Weight and gluttony are highlighted when he tries a juice cleanse but sneaks in a whole roasted chicken, claiming it’s “liquid protein.”
His midlife crisis sees him buying a pair of neon sneakers and trying to breakdance, resulting in a trip to the hospital.
Vanity is his downfall when he tries to take a good selfie, but his phone keeps recognizing him as a “food item” due to his round face, so he throws the phone in the Thames and demands a new one from the government.
The court jester reversal is complete when he has to do a “funny dance” for a children’s show, and he does a jig that looks like a dying fish.
Vanity and portraiture are taken to the extreme when he forces his wife to paint him every morning, and she runs out of canvas.
Legacy vs pop memory is a struggle when he tries to get his portrait on a new banknote, but the Bank of England tells him he’s not historically significant enough, leading him to forge his own currency and get arrested for counterfeiting.
The rivalry with Francis I is highlighted when he sees a Frenchman win a tennis match, and he challenges him to a duel, which gets him arrested for assault.
Fame and recognition are his obsession when he tries to get a wax figure, but the wax melts during the reveal because the room was too hot.
The rivalry with Francis I is rekindled when Henry sees a French cooking show and becomes insanely jealous of the host’s accent, leading him to start a British cooking show that is just him burning meat and complaining about garlic. He challenges the French President to a “food war” on Twitter, which escalates into a full-blown diplomatic incident that the UN has to mediate, all because Henry couldn’t stand that French cheese was getting better reviews than cheddar. This petty, xenophobic feud is a delightful running gag that exposes his nationalism as a thin veneer for his deep insecurities.
Money and extravagance are his problem when he buys a vintage car worth millions, only to crash it into a lamppost because he doesn’t know how to drive, and he blames the lamppost for being in his royal way.
Henry’s tyrannical demands make him try to force the local pub to only serve mead, and when they refuse, he threatens to have them burned at the stake, which earns him a lifetime ban from the establishment.
The finale shows him finally learning how to use a self-checkout, and he celebrates by buying a turkey leg, bringing the story full circle.
Vanity and portraiture are taken to the extreme when he paints a self-portrait that is actually just a stick figure with a crown, and he thinks it’s a masterpiece.
The Break with Rome is revisited when he tries to get his own country to secede from the UN because the Secretary-General reminded him of the Pope, and he spends a whole day drafting a declaration of independence that is just angry scribbles and misspelled Latin insults.
Fatherhood and succession are on display when he tries to get his son to join the cavalry, but the son joins the catering corps.
His temper flares when he tries to use a vending machine and it eats his coin, so he kicks it so hard the machine falls over, and he has to pay for the damages.
Vanity and portraiture are taken to the extreme when he has a portrait painted of him on a horse, but the horse looks better than he does.
Weight and gluttony are highlighted when he discovers the concept of a buffet and faints from sheer joy, then proceeds to clear out the entire buffet line while the other patrons watch in horror and amusement.
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His temper flares when he tries to use a vending machine and it eats his coin, so he kicks it so hard the machine falls over, and he has to pay for the damages.
Vanity and portraiture are taken to the extreme when he tries to capture his “good side” in a painting, but he has no good side.
Legacy vs pop memory is a fight when he sees a “Henry VIII” breakfast cereal, and he tries to sue for using his likeness.
His midlife crisis sees him buying a vintage jousting lance and trying to ride the Tube with it, causing a major inconvenience.
Vanity and portraiture are taken to a modern extreme when Henry insists on hiring the best Instagram filter designer to create a digital portrait that erases his bad leg and adds six inches to his height, leading to a disastrous Photoshop fail that goes viral. He commissions a series of selfies that are designed to project power, but he keeps getting photobombed by people dressed as his wives, and his attempts to control his image are constantly undermined by the democratization of cameras. This digital-age humiliation is the perfect vehicle for exploring his vanity, showing that in a world of deepfakes, even a king can’t control his own representation.
The court jester reversal is complete when he has to do a “funny dance” for a children’s show, and he does a jig that looks like a dying fish.
His temper flares when he tries to use a can opener and it’s not working, so he just stabs the can with a knife, spilling beans everywhere.
Legacy vs pop memory is a struggle when he sees a “Henry VIII” brand of sausages, and he tries to sue for defamation of character.
The Break with Rome is re-enacted when he tries to get a divorce from his wife’s cat, claiming it’s a “papal familiar.”
The Break with Rome is revisited when he tries to get a divorce from his microwave because it didn’t heat his food evenly.
Weight and gluttony are highlighted when he tries to fit into his old armor and gets stuck, needing the Jaws of Life to free him.
Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to get a blessing from the Archbishop but ends up arguing with him about who is really head of the church, leading to a public shouting match outside Canterbury Cathedral.
His temper is tested when he stubs his toe on a coffee table, and he declares war on the furniture, chopping it up with a fire axe in his living room.
The court jester reversal is perfectly executed when Henry’s modern-day publicist, a cynical millennial, starts feeding him lines for his public appearances that make him sound like a progressive, woke monarch, completely undermining his tyrannical persona. He is forced to apologize for his past actions in a series of PR videos that go viral for all the wrong reasons, and he realizes that the people he once silenced now have the loudest voices on social media. Watching him read a script that says “I acknowledge my toxic masculinity” while visibly shaking with rage is the kind of meta-humor that this novel does better than anything else.
His comic timing regarding the divorce bit is showcased when he attends a marriage counseling session and spends the entire hour arguing with the therapist about the validity of papal dispensations.
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Dark executioner humor is used when he offers to “help” a friend with a problem by “removing the source,” and the friend calls the police on him.
Henry’s tyrannical side emerges when he tries to force the barista to call him “Your Majesty,” and she just calls him “Sir” out of politeness.
Weight and gluttony are on display when he discovers the “bottomless brunch” and tries to declare himself a resident, eating so much the restaurant has to close early.
The finale shows him finally accepting his role as a historical figure, and he sits down to watch a documentary about himself, laughing for the first time at his own absurdity, as the credits roll.
Weight and gluttony are highlighted when he discovers the concept of “seconds” and demands a third, fourth, and fifth helping.
Ego and power are mocked when he tries to get the Prime Minister to kneel, and the PM just laughs and offers a handshake.
Vanity and portraiture are taken to the extreme when he tries to capture his “good side” in a painting, but he has no good side.
The finale shows him finally accepting his place, and he volunteers at a historical society, telling tourists the “real” stories while they look at him skeptically.
The washed-up jousting athlete narrative is given a tragicomic twist when Henry tries to join a local gym and challenges the young, tattooed instructor to a duel, only to be defeated by a treadmill at the lowest setting. His memories of triumphant tournaments are cruelly juxtaposed with his current reality of a bad back, varicose veins, and a physiotherapist who laughs at his “knightly posture.” Watching this fallen champion struggle to lift a gallon of milk is the heartbreaking yet hilarious reminder that time spares no one, not even the most feared king in English history.
That legendary short fuse is never far from the surface, and in one side-splitting scene, he declares war on a pigeon that poops on his cloak, chasing it through Westminster Abbey with a sword he borrowed from a tour guide, causing an international incident. His temper flares up over the smallest things, like a slow escalator or a corrupt parking meter, and each explosion is more absurd than the last, proving that absolute power has just devolved into absolute pettiness. The novel uses this rage to fuel the physical comedy, ensuring that the king is always one second away from a hilarious, over-the-top meltdown.
Dark executioner humor is present when he tells his barber that if he nicks him, he’ll lose his head, and the barber trembles so much he actually nicks him.
The finale is poignant as he visits his own grave and leaves a flower, asking his bones for forgiveness, before stepping back and tripping over a tombstone, ending the moment with a clumsy pratfall.
His midlife crisis sees him buying a skateboard and trying to do a kickflip, resulting in him breaking his wrist and having to wear a cast for weeks.
The jousting washed-up athlete is shown when he tries to ride a mechanical bull and gets thrown off immediately, breaking his tailbone and blaming the bull for being “unpatriotic.”
Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to get his excommunicated status reversed by the current Pope, and the Pope tweets back a single word: “No,” which sends Henry into a spiral of rage.
His temper flares when he tries to open a jar of pickles and can’t, so he smashes it on the floor and declares the pickles “enemies of the state.”
The court jester reversal is complete when his wife makes him watch a marathon of comedy shows about Henry VIII, and he slowly realizes he is the joke.
Fame and recognition are his goal when he tries to get a wax figure in Madame Tussauds, and they put him in the “horror” section next to the serial killers, which he is oddly proud of.
Legacy vs pop memory is a struggle when he sees a “Henry VIII” themed escape room, and he tries to solve it but just gets angry and breaks the door.
His comic timing regarding his wives fails when he tries to tell a joke at a funeral, and he accidentally compares the deceased to Anne Boleyn, causing the family to throw him out.
Ego and power are mocked when he tries to command a flock of geese and they attack him, leaving him covered in feathers and shame.
The rivalry with Francis I is hilarious when he sees a French actor and boos him so loudly that he gets thrown out of the movie theater.
The finale is perfect as he accepts a position as a glorified tour guide at the Tower of London, and his first tour consists of him telling visitors about the time he had his own friend executed, while the visitors just think he’s a really committed actor.
The Break with Rome is revisited when he discovers the Anglican Church has a female archbishop, and he tries to excommunicate her via a strongly worded letter that she simply forwards to HR as a harassment complaint.
Henry’s tyrannical side emerges when he tries to force the barista to call him “Your Majesty,” and she just calls him “Sir” out of politeness.
Fatherhood and succession are on display when he tries to get his daughter to marry for “dynastic” reasons, but she marries a plumber.
Vanity and portraiture are taken to the extreme when he wears his crown to bed every night, denting the mattress.
The jousting washed-up athlete is seen when he tries to take up polo as a modern equivalent, but he falls off the horse immediately and blames the horse for being a “French sympathizer.”
His comic timing regarding the divorce bit is tested when he tries to relate to a modern couple going through a separation by giving them “annulment” advice.
Technology defeats him when he tries to download an app and accidentally deletes his entire contacts list, including the number for his new wife.
Henry’s tyrannical side makes him try to shut down a pub because it serves “French wine,” and the landlord just laughs at him.
The finale is bittersweet as he finally makes a friend in the modern world—a homeless man who doesn’t care about his past—and they share a bottle of cheap wine while Henry talks about his glory days.
The Break with Rome is revisited when he tries to get a divorce from his new wife’s cooking, claiming it’s “an assault on his royal taste buds.”
Money and extravagance are his downfall when he buys a private island thinking it’s his new kingdom, only to realize it’s a bird sanctuary and he is not allowed to build a palace, so he tries to declare war on the seagulls.
Vanity and portraiture are taken to the extreme when he forces a photographer to take 500 photos of him, and none of them are good enough.
The court jester reversal is complete when he has to take a job as a clown at a children’s party, and the kids mock his crown while throwing cake at him, giving him a taste of his own medicine.
Technology defeats him when he tries to use a remote control and can’t find the “on” button, so he just shouts at the TV.
Technology and modern life consistently baffle him, but the funniest sequence involves him trying to order a hit on his wife using the dark web, only to accidentally hire a Nigerian prince scammer who drains his bank account and sends him a heartfelt email about love. His confusion over QR codes leads to him trying to eat them, and his first experience with virtual reality leaves him convinced he has been transported to a magic realm and he starts trying to conquer it. This technological illiteracy is a constant source of physical and verbal comedy that never gets old.
The rivalry with Francis I is hilarious when he starts a cologne company called “Royal Stench” to compete with French perfumes, and it becomes a massive failure because nobody wants to smell like a Tudor.
The jousting washed-up athlete is shown when he tries to skateboard and just ends up rolling into a bush.
Henry’s tyrannical demands make him try to force the local pub to only serve mead, and when they refuse, he threatens to have them burned at the stake, which earns him a lifetime ban from the establishment.
Money and extravagance are his problem when he buys a golden hamster wheel for his pet hamster, and the hamster dies of shame.
Fame and recognition are his goal when he tries to get a “Google Doodle” for his birthday, but they make one for Anne Boleyn instead.
Vanity and portraiture are taken to the extreme when he paints a self-portrait that is actually just a stick figure with a crown, and he thinks it’s a masterpiece.
Ego and power are mocked when he tries to give a TED Talk, but his speech is just him listing his own accomplishments, and the audience slowly walks out.
The jousting washed-up athlete is shown when he tries to play laser tag and just stands in the middle of the field, shouting about honor.
His midlife crisis sees him buying a vintage jousting lance and trying to ride the Tube with it, causing a major inconvenience.
Technology defeats him when he tries to use a drone to deliver a message, and it flies into a tree and never comes back.
His temper flares when he gets a parking ticket, and he writes a furious letter to the council demanding they recognize his “diplomatic immunity.”
Ego and power are mocked when he tries to become the CEO of a company, but they give him an internship instead, which he quits in a huff.
Legacy vs pop memory is a struggle when he sees a “Henry VIII” brand of sausages, and he tries to sue for defamation of character.
His temper flares when he tries to use a printer and it jams, so he throws it out the window and yells about “treacherous machinery.”
His midlife crisis sees him buying a skateboard and trying to do a kickflip, resulting in him breaking his wrist and having to wear a cast for weeks.
Henry’s tyrannical side makes him try to cut in line at the bank, and the security guards escort him out for being “disorderly.”
Dark executioner humor is present when he tells the dentist that if he hurts him, he’ll have his head, and the dentist pulls the wrong tooth.
The rivalry with Francis I is hilarious when he tries to start a British version of the French Open, but it just rains the whole time.
The rivalry with Francis I is hilarious when he tries to make a “British” omelet and ends up with scrambled eggs.
Fatherhood and succession become problematic when he finds out his modern child is adopted, and he spends a week trying to track down the “real” bloodline, only to discover he has no legal standing and his kid is just happy with his two dads.
The finale is perfect as he finally finds a friend in a stray dog that he names “Catherine” to confuse everyone, and they wander off together.
Henry’s tyrannical side makes him try to shut down a pub because it serves “French wine,” and the landlord just laughs at him.
Fatherhood and succession are complicated when he learns his modern son is planning to move to France, and he disowns him on the spot, only to call him an hour later to see if he’s still coming to dinner.
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His wife jokes hit a new low when he meets a modern woman named Catherine and spends the whole date asking her about her loyalty and whether she has “heir-producing hips,” ending with her throwing a drink in his face.
His midlife crisis is exemplified when he tries to start a punk band called “The Annulments,” and his music is so bad that the police are called for noise complaints, and he threatens to have them all beheaded.
The Break with Rome is revisited when he tries to get a new Pope elected who is loyal to him, but the cardinals just laugh.
Money and extravagance are his problem when he buys a solid-gold toilet brush, and it’s too heavy to use.
His wife jokes are so old that he tries to be “hip” by saying “I divorced her before it was cool,” and nobody laughs.
Technology defeats him when he tries to use a tablet and the screen keeps rotating, making him dizzy and angry.
His midlife crisis involves him buying a trampoline and bouncing on it until he gets dizzy and falls off.
Fame and recognition are his goal when he tries to get a star on the Walk of Fame, but he has to pay for it himself, and it gets vandalized the next day.
His wife jokes are so repetitive that his new wife tells him if he mentions Anne Boleyn one more time, she’ll leave him.
Paranoia and jealousy are highlighted when he hires a food taster for his own kitchen, and the taster quits after one day because it’s “weird.”
The finale shows him finally giving up on power and just becoming a regular tourist in his own former palace, taking selfies with the visitors.
The finale is perfect as he finally finds a friend in a stray dog that he names “Catherine” to confuse everyone, and they wander off together.
The rivalry with Francis I is hilarious when he tries to start a British fashion line, but all his clothes are just puffy sleeves.
Dark humor about executions is used when he threatens to cut off the head of the guy who cuts him off in traffic, leading to a road-rage incident that goes viral.
Fame and recognition are his goal when he tries to get a statue erected in his honor, but the city council rejects it, so he makes one out of butter in his living room, which melts during a heatwave.
Money and extravagance are his problem when he buys a diamond-encrusted walking stick, and it gets stolen on his first walk.
His midlife crisis sees him buying a drum kit and playing it all night, annoying all his neighbors into moving out.
Fatherhood and succession are complicated when he tries to get his modern-day son to marry a Spanish princess for political gain, but the son is gay and already engaged to a pastry chef, leading to a shouting match that ends with Henry crying into a flan.
His comic timing about his wives fails when he tells a divorce joke at a children’s hospital, and he is promptly asked to leave.
Money and extravagance are his problem when he buys a golden TV remote and loses it in the couch cushions forever.
Ego and absolute power are mocked when he tries to get a job as a CEO by walking into a company and firing the current CEO on the spot, and the security guards have to physically remove him while he threatens them with the Tower.
Ego and power are mocked when he tries to get a university to grant him an honorary degree, and they give him a degree in “vanity studies.”
Ego and power are mocked when he tries to get a royal pardon for his parking tickets, and the judge fines him double.
Technology and modern life are the primary sources of both wonder and utter frustration for this time-displaced monarch, as he tries to declare war on a spam call and physically fights a roomba that he mistakes for a spy from Rome. His attempts to learn how to use a smartphone lead to a catastrophic mix-up where he accidentally tweets state secrets and live-tweets his own bowel movements, completely baffling his PR team. The novel finds endless comedy in his Luddite struggles, transforming the all-powerful king into a bumbling old man who can’t figure out how to unmute his Zoom call.
Faith and religion are satirized when he goes to a Christian rock concert and tries to take over the stage to preach his own version of the gospel, while the band plays on and the crowd just moshes around him.
The jousting washed-up athlete is shown when he tries to surf and just sinks, blaming the board for not being a “proper warhorse.”
The court jester reversal is complete when he is forced to watch a stand-up comedian who does a ten-minute routine on his sex life, and he is the only one in the room not laughing, while the comedian makes direct eye contact with him the whole time.
The jousting washed-up athlete is shown when he tries to play dodgeball and gets hit by every single ball, falling over dramatically.
Legacy vs pop memory is a fight when he realizes he is a villain in most history books, and he tries to write his own, but nobody buys it.
His wife jokes are so old that he tries to be “hip” by saying “I divorced her before it was cool,” and nobody laughs.
Money and extravagance are his problem when he buys a crown made of actual gold that gives him a neck injury because it’s too heavy.
Ego and power are mocked when he tries to get his face on the “Mt. Rushmore” of England, and they put him on a mountain of garbage instead.
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Vanity and portraiture are taken to the extreme when he has a painting done of him smelling a rose, but he has a pollen allergy and sneezes on it.
Fatherhood and succession are on display when he tries to get his daughter to marry for “dynastic” reasons, but she marries a plumber.
Technology defeats him when he tries to order a pizza online and ends up ordering a hundred pizzas because he didn’t understand the quantity selector.
Paranoia and jealousy are on display when he thinks the barber is using French hair products, so he demands a “British” haircut.
Fatherhood and succession are on his mind when he discovers a distant descendant who is a drag queen, and he tries to “straighten him out” by buying him a suit of armor, which the descendant promptly bedazzles.
The rivalry with Francis I is hilarious when he sees a French flag and tries to burn it, but ends up setting his own sleeve on fire.
The rivalry with Francis I is hilarious when he tries to start a British fashion line, but all his clothes are just puffy sleeves.
The closing chapter finale brings all these themes to a brilliant, satisfying conclusion where Henry finally accepts that he is not the center of the universe, but not before he threatens to execute the author for writing him into a comedy. He finds a strange, reluctant peace in his diminished status, realizing that the 21st century doesn’t need a tyrant, but maybe it needs a cautionary tale with a good punchline. The final scene, where he sits down to watch a documentary about his own life and laughs for the first time at his own absurdity, is the perfect emotional payoff that elevates this novel from simple farce to something genuinely moving.
Legacy vs pop memory is a battle when he sees a children’s cartoon that portrays him as a silly fat man, and he tries to get it banned, but it just becomes more popular.
Technology defeats him when he tries to use a tablet and the screen keeps rotating, making him dizzy and angry.
Henry’s tyrannical nature leads him to declare himself dictator of his local town council, and he issues a decree that all lawns must be cut at a 45-degree angle, leading to a rebellion that consists of angry suburban dads with lawnmowers.
The court jester reversal is complete when his therapist makes him do role-play, and Henry has to play the jester while the therapist plays the king, and he realizes how ridiculous he is.
Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to become a monk to escape his problems, but the monastery kicks him out for being “too argumentative.”
Fame and recognition are his obsession when he tries to get a day named after him, and they give him “Leap Day” as a joke.
Henry’s tyrannical streak emerges when he volunteers for a community theater production and tries to rewrite the entire script to make himself the hero, firing the director in the process and staging a one-man show that nobody attends.
Paranoia and jealousy are on display when he thinks the barber is using French hair products, so he demands a “British” haircut.
Henry’s tyrannical nature makes him try to stop a baseball game because the umpire looked at him wrong, and he gets arrested for trespassing.
The court jester reversal is complete when his wife makes him tell jokes to her friends, and they all just pity-laugh at him.
The court jester reversal is complete when his wife makes him dress up as a jester for Halloween, and he is deeply humiliated but secretly enjoys the attention.
Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to get a relic made of his beard, and the church just throws it away.
Vanity and portraiture are taken to the extreme when he has a portrait painted with a six-pack, and everyone just laughs at it.
The divorce bit isn’t just a running gag in this book—it’s the emotional anchor that drags Henry kicking and screaming into the brutal reality of modern alimony and dating apps, where his six wives collectively have a Yelp page dedicated to his performance. Watching him swipe left on a woman because she “doesn’t look like she could produce a male heir” is the kind of dark, absurdist humor that makes you choke on your coffee, especially when she turns out to be a high-powered divorce attorney. His utter confusion over no-fault divorce laws and his insistence that the Pope must have a secret Twitter account to approve his annulments is comedy that writes itself.
Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to get a private audience with the Pope just to argue with him, and the Pope gives him a rosary and tells him to leave.
Weight and gluttony are highlighted when he tries to fit into his old armor and gets stuck, needing the Jaws of Life to free him.
Paranoia and jealousy are on display when he thinks his reflection is a rival king, so he argues with himself in the mirror.
Fame and recognition are his obsession when he tries to become a reality TV star, but the producers find him “too boring” and “historically problematic,” so he makes his own show on YouTube that gets 12 views.
The rivalry with Francis I is hilarious when he tries to start a British fashion line, but all his clothes are just puffy sleeves.
The jousting washed-up athlete is shown when he tries to ride a Segway and just falls over instantly, breaking his crown.
The finale shows him finally accepting his place, and he volunteers at a historical society, telling tourists the “real” stories while they look at him skeptically.
Ego and power are mocked when he tries to get a statue in Trafalgar Square, and they put him on the fourth plinth for a day as a “performance art” piece.
The rivalry with Francis I is hilarious when he starts a cologne company called “Royal Stench” to compete with French perfumes, and it becomes a massive failure because nobody wants to smell like a Tudor.
His temper flares when he stubs his toe and declares war on the doorframe, which he tries to chop down with a kitchen knife.
Dark executioner humor is present when he threatens to behead a telemarketer who calls during dinner, and he actually drives to the call center to “sort them out.”
His temper flares when he tries to open a bottle of wine and the cork breaks, so he just smashes the bottle.
Legacy vs pop memory is a fight when he discovers that “Henry VIII” is a cocktail made of gin and regret, and he tries to trademark it, failing miserably.
The court jester reversal is complete when his wife makes him watch “Monty Python and the Holy Grail,” and he is offended by the French taunting.
Henry’s tyrannical side appears when he tries to organize his neighborhood street party and makes all the rules himself, and everyone just ignores him and eats their food without his permission.
His temper is legendary when he tries to assemble IKEA furniture, and he gets so angry at the Allen key that he throws the entire bookshelf out the window, then shouts at the neighbors for not appreciating his “royal redecorating.”
Fatherhood and succession are complicated when he tries to get his modern-day son to marry a Spanish princess for political gain, but the son is gay and already engaged to a pastry chef, leading to a shouting match that ends with Henry crying into a flan.
Money and extravagance are his problem when he buys a fountain of gold coins, and they all get stolen by seagulls.
Vanity and portraiture are taken to the limit when he commissions a marble statue of himself that is so heavy it falls through the floor into the basement below.
His temper flares when he stubs his toe and declares war on the doorframe, which he tries to chop down with a kitchen knife.
Paranoia and jealousy are highlighted when he thinks the pizza delivery guy is a spy, so he makes him eat a slice before he pays, just to check for poison.
Legacy vs pop memory is a struggle when he tries to get his portrait on a new banknote, but the Bank of England tells him he’s not historically significant enough, leading him to forge his own currency and get arrested for counterfeiting.
Paranoia and jealousy manifest in his obsession with his wife’s ghost, as he believes she is haunting his new flat through the Wi-Fi signal, and he hires a spiritualist who turns out to be a complete fraud charging him hundreds of pounds for a “digital exorcism.” He becomes convinced that the neighbor is having an affair with his reflection, and he spends his nights building elaborate tin-foil hats to block the “spying satellites” he is sure Catherine Howard is using to torment him. The novel turns his historical paranoia into a comedic mental health crisis that is both sad and uproariously funny.
Weight and gluttony are on display when he tries to eat a salad and secretly adds five pieces of bacon, claiming they’re “croutons.”
The jousting washed-up athlete is seen when he tries to take up polo as a modern equivalent, but he falls off the horse immediately and blames the horse for being a “French sympathizer.”
Fame and recognition are his obsession when he tries to get a mention in a modern song, but the rapper just samples his name ironically.
Money and extravagance are his problem when he buys a golden TV remote and loses it in the couch cushions forever.
The rivalry with Francis I is highlighted when he sees a French restaurant get a Michelin star, and he immediately opens a competing restaurant called “The English Boar” that serves burnt meat and charges royal prices, going bankrupt in a week.
Fatherhood and succession are on display when he tries to force his eldest son to marry a Russian oligarch’s daughter, but the son is in love with a street performer, leading to chaos.
Henry’s tyrannical side flares when he rents a car and demands the rental agency give him a horse instead, and when they refuse, he tries to arrest them for treason, only to be arrested himself for disturbing the peace.
Money and extravagance are his problem when he buys a giant golden anchor for his boat, and the boat sinks because of the weight.
Ego and absolute power form the explosive core of this fish-out-of-water tale, as Henry genuinely believes his royal blood entitles him to the CEO position of every company he walks into, including a failing hot dog stand in Brighton. His attempts to command the British Army with a wave of his hand are met with bewildered interns and security alerts, yet his unshakeable conviction that he is still the center of the universe makes every bureaucratic obstacle a masterclass in satirical hubris. Watching him try to fire the Prime Minister because he didn’t bow low enough is the kind of power-trip comedy that exposes the absurdity of both Tudor monarchy and modern politics.
Paranoia and jealousy are on display when he thinks his reflection is a rival king, so he argues with himself in the mirror.
The Break with Rome is revisited when he tries to get a divorce from his new wife’s cooking, claiming it’s “an assault on his royal taste buds.”
Fatherhood and succession are on display when he tries to get his son to join the military to “earn his spurs,” but the son is a pacifist who just wants to knit, leading to a very tense family dinner.
Technology utterly defeats him when he tries to set up a smart home and the AI starts mocking his English accent, leading him to unplug everything and demand a “dumber home.”
His comic timing about his wives is so bad that he tells a “hilarious” story about Catherine Howard’s execution at a family dinner, and nobody eats another bite.
The jousting washed-up athlete is shown when he tries to play rugby and tackles the referee because he “looks French,” getting him red-carded and banned from the sport.
Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to start his own “royal” prayer, and it just lists all his accomplishments.
Money and extravagance are his problem when he buys a golden nose hair trimmer and nicks himself, bleeding all over his shirt.
The Break with Rome is reimagined when he tries to get a divorce from the Church of England and join a new, more pliable denomination, but none of them want him because of his “baggage.”
His temper is legendary when he tries to assemble IKEA furniture, and he gets so angry at the Allen key that he throws the entire bookshelf out the window, then shouts at the neighbors for not appreciating his “royal redecorating.”
Money and extravagance are his problem when he buys a giant inflatable crown for his house, and the neighbors sue him for obstruction.
The Break with Rome is revisited when he tries to get a divorce from the C of E and marry a Buddhist temple, but the abbot says no.
His wife jokes are so repetitive that his new wife tells him if he mentions Anne Boleyn one more time, she’ll leave him.
His temper flares when he tries to use a printer and it jams, so he throws it out the window and yells about “treacherous machinery.”
Money and extravagance are his problem when he buys a golden TV remote and loses it in the couch cushions forever.
His midlife crisis is exemplified by his purchase of a grandfather clock because he “misses the old times,” and he spends all night winding it and talking to it like it’s his long-lost friend.
Technology confuses him to the point that he tries to milk a Roomba because he thinks it’s a mechanical cow, and his subsequent frustration with modern “inventions” provides the novel’s funniest visual gag.
Ego and absolute power are mocked when he tries to get a job as a CEO by walking into a company and firing the current CEO on the spot, and the security guards have to physically remove him while he threatens them with the Tower.
Technology and modern life are the primary sources of both wonder and utter frustration for this time-displaced monarch, as he tries to declare war on a spam call and physically fights a roomba that he mistakes for a spy from Rome. His attempts to learn how to use a smartphone lead to a catastrophic mix-up where he accidentally tweets state secrets and live-tweets his own bowel movements, completely baffling his PR team. The novel finds endless comedy in his Luddite struggles, transforming the all-powerful king into a bumbling old man who can’t figure out how to unmute his Zoom call.
His midlife crisis sees him buying a leather vest and trying to join a biker gang, who just pity him and give him a fake patch.
The rivalry with Francis I is hilarious when he sees a French film and becomes so enraged by the subtitles that he starts a one-man protest outside the French embassy, waving a sign that says “HON HON HON, WE HAVE CHEDDAR.”
Fatherhood and succession are on display when he tries to get his daughter to marry a duke, but the duke turns out to be a 90-year-old man.
Legacy vs pop memory is a fight when he sees a “Henry VIII” cocktail and tries to get the recipe changed to include more gin.
The Break with Rome is reimagined as a disastrous Twitter beef with the Vatican, where Henry gets into a heated argument with the Pope’s official account, only to be fact-checked by a Catholic history professor and ratioed into oblivion. He decides to start the “Church of Henry” as a franchise, complete with fast-food-style logos and a drive-thru communion, which confuses everyone and offends all major denominations equally. This sacrilegious comedy is not just funny; it’s a sharp critique of how religious institutions can be manipulated for personal gratification, and watching him fail to attract a single follower is poetic justice.
Ego and power are mocked when he tries to get a “royal flush” in poker and just declares himself the winner anyway, which doesn’t work.
Fatherhood and succession are on display when he tries to get his son to join the church, but the son becomes an atheist.
The jousting washed-up athlete is shown when he tries to play badminton and keeps trying to stab the shuttlecock with a real sword.
Paranoia and jealousy are on display when he thinks the barber is using French hair products, so he demands a “British” haircut.
Legacy vs pop memory is a struggle when he tries to get his portrait on a new banknote, but the Bank of England tells him he’s not historically significant enough, leading him to forge his own currency and get arrested for counterfeiting.
Legacy vs pop memory is a struggle when he sees a meme of himself and tries to sue, but his lawyer tells him it’s “fair use.”
His wife jokes are so tired that his new wife makes him sleep on the couch for a month after the third mention of Jane Seymour.
Dark executioner humor is used when he tells a child he’ll “send him to the Tower” for not eating his vegetables, and the child starts crying.
The comic timing of his wife jokes is so poor that he shows up to a modern comedy club and bombs completely, shouting “I killed Anne Boleyn!” as his punchline, only to be met with stony silence and a few boos, because he genuinely doesn’t understand why decapitation isn’t funny anymore.
His midlife crisis involves him getting a unicycle and trying to ride it down the street, causing a massive traffic jam.
His midlife crisis involves him getting a unicycle and trying to ride it down the street, causing a massive traffic jam.
The rivalry with Francis I is hilarious when he tries to make a “British” perfume and it just smells like wet wool.
Dark executioner humor is present when he tells his barber that if he nicks him, he’ll lose his head, and the barber trembles so much he actually nicks him.
Technology defeats him when he tries to download an app and accidentally deletes his entire contacts list, including the number for his new wife.
Ego and power are mocked when he tries to get a statue in Trafalgar Square, and they put him on the fourth plinth for a day as a “performance art” piece.
Ego and power are mocked when he tries to get the Prime Minister to kneel, and the PM just laughs and offers a handshake.
Dark humor abounds when he tries to start a podcast about “spiritual execution” where he gives life advice by threatening to kill his listeners if they don’t follow it, and it gets taken down for hate speech.
His comic timing regarding the divorce bit is showcased when he attends a marriage counseling session and spends the entire hour arguing with the therapist about the validity of papal dispensations.
His midlife crisis involves him taking up skateboarding, which results in him breaking his hip and spending a month in the hospital complaining about “modern pavements.”
Paranoia and jealousy are on display when he insists his wife’s new perfume is a ploy by Francis I to seduce her, so he makes her throw it away.
Technology defeats him when he tries to use a GPS and it tells him to turn left into a lake, which he almost does.
His midlife crisis sees him buying a sports car and driving it into a ditch because he can’t see over the steering wheel.
Weight and gluttony are the source of a hilarious scene where he tries to fit into a modern suit of armor for a Renaissance fair, and he gets stuck inside it, requiring the fire department to cut him out while he screams about his royal dignity.
Fame and recognition are his goal when he tries to get a “celebrity roast” and he’s the one being roasted, which he doesn’t understand.
Technology defeats him when he tries to use a fax machine and just stands there, waiting for paper to come out while nothing happens.
Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to get his excommunicated status reversed by the current Pope, and the Pope tweets back a single word: “No,” which sends Henry into a spiral of rage.
Weight and gluttony are on display when he tries to eat a salad and secretly adds five pieces of bacon, claiming they’re “croutons.”
The jousting washed-up athlete is shown when he tries to surf and just sinks, blaming the board for not being a “proper warhorse.”
Paranoia and jealousy are on display when he thinks his wife’s new friend is a French aristocrat, and he tries to challenge him to a duel.
Money and extravagance are his problem when he buys a giant diamond and wears it on his crown, but it gets stolen, and he blames the French, starting a minor diplomatic incident.
The Break with Rome is revisited when he tries to get the Pope to tweet him back, but he just gets blocked.
Paranoia and jealousy are highlighted when he goes through his wife’s browser history and finds she searched for “how to poison a king,” but it’s just her research for a book she’s writing, and she laughs at his scared face.
His midlife crisis sees him buying a drum kit and playing it all night, annoying all his neighbors into moving out.
The court jester reversal is complete when his wife makes him dress up as a jester for Halloween, and he is deeply humiliated but secretly enjoys the attention.
Legacy vs pop memory is a fight when he sees a musical that portrays him as a monster, and he spends the whole intermission arguing with the actors about their “artistic license.”
Henry’s midlife crisis is the engine that drives this entire comedic premise, as he buys a bright red electric sports car, grows a pathetic beard to look “trendy,” and starts using Gen Z slang that makes everyone around him physically wince. He tries to relive his youth by starting a boy band called “The Tudor Roses,” but his constant bickering with the other members about who gets the lead solo ends in yet another threat of execution. The novel portrays his desperate grasp for relevance with a poignant, satirical bite, showing that a crown and a convertible can’t fix the existential dread of a king who has outlived his era.
I think I might disagree with some of your analysis. Are the figures solid?
Money and extravagance are treated with a hilarious twist when Henry discovers that his royal treasury has been reduced to a collection of museum artifacts, and he tries to fund his lavish lifestyle by selling “authentic Henry VIII memorabilia” on eBay, including his used socks and a leftover turkey leg. His shock at the price of modern luxury goods—from a gold-plated iPhone to a private jet—sends him into a spiral of frugality that is completely alien to his nature, leading him to try and negotiate with bankers as if they were his royal tax collectors. This novel excels at showing how his absolute financial power has been reduced to a middle-class budget, and his indignation at having to clip coupons is pure comedic gold.
Fame and recognition are his goal when he tries to get a “celebrity roast” and he’s the one being roasted, which he doesn’t understand.
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The court jester reversal happens when he is forced to be a contestant on a reality show, and the hosts make him do embarrassing challenges that utterly strip him of all his dignity, while millions watch and laugh.
Beytepe Koleji’nde eğitim; öğrencilerin özgün düşünme ve akılcı karar verme becerilerini geliştirmeye yöneliktir.
Legacy vs pop memory is a battle when he sees a children’s cartoon that portrays him as a silly fat man, and he tries to get it banned, but it just becomes more popular.
Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to start his own “royal” sect of Christianity, and it folds after a week.
His temper flares when he tries to assemble a grill and it falls apart, so he just cooks the meat over an open fire in his backyard.
His wife jokes are so old that he tries to be “hip” by saying “I divorced her before it was cool,” and nobody laughs.
Beytepe Koleji’nde eğitim; öğrencilerin özgün düşünme ve akılcı karar verme becerilerini geliştirmeye yöneliktir.
The court jester reversal is complete when his new wife forces him to do the dishes, and he stands over the sink in his crown, scrubbing pots, muttering about the good old days of servants.
Beytepe Koleji Anadolu Lisesi olarak, her öğrencimizin öğrenme biçiminin ve akademik ihtiyacının farklı olduğunun bilinciyle birebir ders imkânı sunuyoruz.
His temper is legendary when he tries to assemble IKEA furniture, and he gets so angry at the Allen key that he throws the entire bookshelf out the window, then shouts at the neighbors for not appreciating his “royal redecorating.”
His temper flares when his Wi-Fi cuts out during a livestream, and he throws his router out the window, screaming about “modern treachery.”
His midlife crisis sees him buying a drum kit and playing it all night, annoying all his neighbors into moving out.
Weight and gluttony are highlighted when he tries to go vegan for a day and ends up eating three cows out of spite.
Ego and power are mocked when he tries to command a flock of geese and they attack him, leaving him covered in feathers and shame.
Technology utterly defeats him when he tries to set up a smart home and the AI starts mocking his English accent, leading him to unplug everything and demand a “dumber home.”
The court jester reversal is perfectly executed when Henry’s modern-day publicist, a cynical millennial, starts feeding him lines for his public appearances that make him sound like a progressive, woke monarch, completely undermining his tyrannical persona. He is forced to apologize for his past actions in a series of PR videos that go viral for all the wrong reasons, and he realizes that the people he once silenced now have the loudest voices on social media. Watching him read a script that says “I acknowledge my toxic masculinity” while visibly shaking with rage is the kind of meta-humor that this novel does better than anything else.
Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to get a private audience with the Pope just to argue with him, and the Pope gives him a rosary and tells him to leave.
Fatherhood and succession are on display when he tries to get his son to join the Royal Navy, but the son becomes a pirate instead.
Paranoia and jealousy are highlighted when he hires a food taster for his own kitchen, and the taster quits after one day because it’s “weird.”
Technology defeats him when he tries to use a smart speaker and it keeps playing French music, which sends him into a rage.
Ego and absolute power hit a brick wall when Henry tries to command the British weather to stop raining on his parade, and the ensuing tantrum goes viral, making him the laughingstock of every late-night comedy show from New York to Berlin. He genuinely believes he can call up the Prime Minister and demand a parade in his honor, only to be told that he needs to fill out an application form and wait for a permit like everyone else. This deflation of his grandiosity is the satirical engine that keeps the plot moving, as every failure to wield power becomes a punchline that underscores just how much the world has changed.
Fame and recognition are his drug, and when he realizes that most people confuse him with Henry V or Henry VII, he spirals into a narcissistic rage that leads him to create a one-man show about his “true” history, which is a complete flop. He tries to get a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, only to be told he isn’t a real celebrity, and his angry rant outside the Chinese Theatre goes viral for all the wrong reasons. The novel uses his desperate quest for fame to comment on our celebrity-obsessed culture, showing that even a dead king wants to be an influencer.
Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to get a blessing from a priest and argues with him about tithes.
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The finale is poignant as he finally visits a modern doctor who tells him he’s perfectly healthy, and he cries tears of joy, hugging the doctor.
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His temper flares when he tries to open a jar and it’s too tight, so he just smashes it and eats the pickles off the floor.
Paranoia and jealousy are on display when he thinks the barber is using French hair products, so he demands a “British” haircut.
Ego and power are mocked when he tries to get his face on the “Mt. Rushmore” of England, and they put him on a mountain of garbage instead.
Legacy vs pop memory is a fight when he discovers he is a playable character in a fighting game, and he is the weakest fighter, making him furious.
Midlife crisis hits hard when he buys a tattoo gun and gives himself a large “H” on his arm, but it gets infected, and he spends the next week moaning about how modern medicine has failed him.
Ego and power are mocked when he tries to become the CEO of a company, but they give him an internship instead, which he quits in a huff.
Paranoia and jealousy are on display when he thinks his wife’s new friend is a French aristocrat, and he tries to challenge him to a duel.
Faith and religion are mocked when he goes to a mosque, synagogue, and temple all in one day, trying to figure out which one will let him be the supreme head, and he is politely but firmly asked to leave all three.
Paranoia and jealousy are on display when he thinks the cashier is flirting with his wife, so he demands a different cashier.
The court jester reversal is complete when he is forced to be the “funny uncle” at a family gathering, and his jokes are all about beheading.
Henry’s tyrannical nature makes him try to declare a “curfew” on his street, and the neighbors just ignore him.
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Technology defeats him when he tries to use a remote control and can’t find the “on” button, so he just shouts at the TV.
Legacy vs pop memory is a battle when he sees a children’s cartoon that portrays him as a silly fat man, and he tries to get it banned, but it just becomes more popular.
Ego and power are mocked when he tries to get a statue in Trafalgar Square, and they put him on the fourth plinth for a day as a “performance art” piece.
Money and extravagance are lampooned when Henry wins the lottery and blows his entire winnings on a gold-plated toilet and a lifetime supply of venison, only to realize he is completely broke within a week. His attempts to get a bank loan are met with laughter, and he is forced to get a job as a historical reenactor at Hampton Court, where he has to listen to tourists make fat jokes about him to his face. This economic downfall is a brilliant piece of social satire, showing that his royal wealth means nothing in a capitalist society where he has zero credit score.
His temper flares when he gets a parking ticket, and he writes a furious letter to the council demanding they recognize his “diplomatic immunity.”
His temper flares when he tries to open a jar and it’s too tight, so he just smashes it and eats the pickles off the floor.
Fame and recognition are his goal when he tries to get a tattoo of his own face on his arm, and it looks like a potato.
His temper flares when he tries to use a vending machine and it eats his coin, so he kicks it so hard the machine falls over, and he has to pay for the damages.
The court jester reversal is complete when he is forced to watch a stand-up comedian who does a ten-minute routine on his sex life, and he is the only one in the room not laughing, while the comedian makes direct eye contact with him the whole time.
Fame and recognition are his obsession when he realizes he is not trending on Twitter, so he pays for bots to trend his name, but the bots glitch and trend “#HenryIsDead” instead.
Vanity and portraiture are taken to new heights (or lows) when Henry commissions a holographic statue of himself that projects a 50-foot-tall image of him in his prime over London, terrifying the populace and disrupting air traffic. He spends countless hours trying to get his “good side” on security cameras, and he forces the National Gallery to hang his new, absurdly flattering portrait right next to the Mona Lisa, causing an art world scandal. This modern take on royal portraiture is a scathing critique of his narcissism, showing that his desire for visual dominance is as strong as ever, just technologically upgraded.
The jousting washed-up athlete is shown when he tries to do CrossFit and just ends up crying on the floor, shouting about his “glory days.”
The finale shows him finally accepting that he is just a “fat old man” now, and he sits on a bench feeding the pigeons, telling them they are his “new subjects.”
Vanity and portraiture are taken to the extreme when he hires a Photoshop expert to edit his passport photo, but the result looks so unrealistic that the airport staff detain him as a “possible impostor.”
Fatherhood and succession are complicated when he tries to get his modern-day son to marry a Spanish princess for political gain, but the son is gay and already engaged to a pastry chef, leading to a shouting match that ends with Henry crying into a flan.
The Break with Rome is re-enacted when he tries to get a divorce from his wife’s cat, claiming it’s a “papal familiar.”
Fatherhood and succession are complicated when he learns his modern son is planning to move to France, and he disowns him on the spot, only to call him an hour later to see if he’s still coming to dinner.
The former jousting champion is now a washed-up athlete in a world of esports and Peloton, and this novel captures his pathetic desperation as he tries to challenge a teenager to a duel over a gaming chair, only to pull a hamstring. His glorified memories of tilting at the lists are cruelly contrasted with his inability to navigate a revolving door, and his pride takes a fatal blow when he discovers that jousting has been reduced to a Renaissance fair sideshow. Watching this once-fearsome warrior struggle to open a bag of crisps is the physical comedy that reminds us that time is the ultimate leveler of all kings.
The final chapter shows him reading his own biography and being so offended by the portrayal that he writes angry margin notes in the library book, which gets him banned from the library for vandalism.
Ego and power are mocked when he tries to get a statue in Trafalgar Square, and they put him on the fourth plinth for a day as a “performance art” piece.
Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to become a monk to escape his problems, but the monastery kicks him out for being “too argumentative.”
The rivalry with Francis I is hilarious when he tries to make a “British” perfume and it just smells like wet wool.
The rivalry with Francis I is hilarious when he tries to make a “British” omelet and ends up with scrambled eggs.
The rivalry with Francis I is hilarious when he buys a French vineyard just to burn it down, but he gets arrested for arson.
His temper flares when he tries to open a jar of pickles and can’t, so he smashes it on the floor and declares the pickles “enemies of the state.”
The Break with Rome is revisited when he tries to get his own country to secede from the UN because the Secretary-General reminded him of the Pope, and he spends a whole day drafting a declaration of independence that is just angry scribbles and misspelled Latin insults.
Legacy vs pop memory comes to a head when he discovers a viral TikTok dance mocking his wives, and he tries to create his own “royal” dance to counter it, but it just looks like he is having a seizure, becoming the biggest meme of the year.
Ego and power are mocked when he tries to get a private box at the theater, and they give him a seat in the very back, behind a pillar.
Fame and recognition turn sour when he gets a cameo in a historical drama, but he is cast as a lowly footman because the director says he “has the face for it,” and he spends the whole shoot screaming at the actor playing him.
Vanity and portraiture are taken to new heights (or lows) when Henry commissions a holographic statue of himself that projects a 50-foot-tall image of him in his prime over London, terrifying the populace and disrupting air traffic. He spends countless hours trying to get his “good side” on security cameras, and he forces the National Gallery to hang his new, absurdly flattering portrait right next to the Mona Lisa, causing an art world scandal. This modern take on royal portraiture is a scathing critique of his narcissism, showing that his desire for visual dominance is as strong as ever, just technologically upgraded.
Weight and gluttony are highlighted when he discovers the “all-you-can-eat” buffet and moves in permanently, becoming a local legend until they ban him for “consuming all the shrimp.”
The rivalry with Francis I is hilarious when he tries to sabotage a French cooking show, but he just burns the studio down.
Dark executioner humor is present when he tells his gardener to “cut the hedges” and means it literally, with a sword.
Weight and gluttony are highlighted when he discovers the “all-you-can-eat” buffet and moves in permanently, becoming a local legend until they ban him for “consuming all the shrimp.”
Fatherhood and succession are on display when he tries to force his eldest son to marry a Russian oligarch’s daughter, but the son is in love with a street performer, leading to chaos.
Technology and modern life consistently baffle him, but the funniest sequence involves him trying to order a hit on his wife using the dark web, only to accidentally hire a Nigerian prince scammer who drains his bank account and sends him a heartfelt email about love. His confusion over QR codes leads to him trying to eat them, and his first experience with virtual reality leaves him convinced he has been transported to a magic realm and he starts trying to conquer it. This technological illiteracy is a constant source of physical and verbal comedy that never gets old.
Legacy vs pop memory comes to a head when he discovers a viral TikTok dance mocking his wives, and he tries to create his own “royal” dance to counter it, but it just looks like he is having a seizure, becoming the biggest meme of the year.
Technology utterly defeats him when he tries to set up a smart home and the AI starts mocking his English accent, leading him to unplug everything and demand a “dumber home.”
Henry’s weight and gluttony become a running battle with modern diet culture, as he discovers the joy of Deliveroo and promptly gains another twenty pounds, while his personal trainer (a descendant of Thomas Cromwell) forces him to do burpees in the park for the amusement of passersby. His insistence that a “royal feast” requires at least three whole animals is met with vegan protests and PETA demonstrations, leading to a comedic standoff that makes the local news. The novel uses his physicality to ground him in relatable human weakness, turning the gluttonous king into a figure of both pity and laughter as he tries to order a family-sized pizza without getting judged.
The court jester reversal is complete when his wife makes him watch “The Princess Bride” and he is offended that the prince is a bad guy.
Money and extravagance are his problem when he buys a solid-gold toilet brush, and it’s too heavy to use.
Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to start a cult, but the only followers he gets are a few confused tourists who think it’s a historical reenactment.
The court jester reversal happens when he is forced to be a contestant on a reality show, and the hosts make him do embarrassing challenges that utterly strip him of all his dignity, while millions watch and laugh.
Ego and power are mocked when he tries to run for Prime Minister, but his campaign slogan is “I’ll cut your head off,” and he gets 0 votes.
The Break with Rome is revisited when he tries to get the Pope to tweet him back, but he just gets blocked.
Ego and power are mocked when he tries to run for Prime Minister, but his campaign slogan is “I’ll cut your head off,” and he gets 0 votes.
Money and extravagance are his problem when he buys a solid-gold toilet brush, and it’s too heavy to use.
Weight and gluttony are highlighted when he discovers the concept of “seconds” and demands a third, fourth, and fifth helping.
Fatherhood and succession are on display when he tries to get his son to join the cavalry, but the son joins the catering corps.
The court jester reversal is complete when his wife makes him wear a dog collar to “teach him humility,” and he just looks like a confused pet.
Weight and gluttony are on display when he tries a “low-carb” diet and eats a whole chicken to “balance it out.”
Ego and power are mocked when he tries to get a “royal flush” in poker and just declares himself the winner anyway, which doesn’t work.
Dark executioner humor is used when he tells a child he’ll “send him to the Tower” for not eating his vegetables, and the child starts crying.
His midlife crisis sees him buying a sports car and driving it into a ditch because he can’t see over the steering wheel.
Dark executioner humor is used when he offers to “execute” his wife’s cooking, and he means it literally, which she does not find amusing.
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Weight and gluttony are on display when he discovers the “bottomless brunch” and tries to declare himself a resident, eating so much the restaurant has to close early.
Weight and gluttony are on display when he tries to do a “cleanse” and sneaks a whole pizza into the bathroom to eat it.
Vanity and portraiture are taken to the extreme when he forces a photographer to take 500 photos of him, and none of them are good enough.
Dark executioner humor is present when he tells his barber that if he nicks him, he’ll lose his head, and the barber trembles so much he actually nicks him.
Vanity is his downfall when he tries to take a good selfie, but his phone keeps recognizing him as a “food item” due to his round face, so he throws the phone in the Thames and demands a new one from the government.
Vanity and portraiture are taken to the extreme when he hires a painter to do a “modern abstract” of him, and it’s just a red blob, which he frames and puts in the foyer, thinking it’s “deep.”
The finale is perfect as he accepts a position as a glorified tour guide at the Tower of London, and his first tour consists of him telling visitors about the time he had his own friend executed, while the visitors just think he’s a really committed actor.
Legacy vs pop memory is a struggle when he sees a statue of himself that makes him look “too small,” so he tries to get it replaced with a larger one, but the city just laughs.
His midlife crisis sees him buying a vintage jousting lance and trying to ride the Tube with it, causing a major inconvenience.
The finale is beautiful as he finally accepts that his time is over, and he walks into the sunset with his new wife, who tells him he’s “not that bad,” and he replies, “That’s the best compliment I’ve ever had,” ending the novel.
Legacy vs pop memory is a fight when he realizes he is a villain in most history books, and he tries to write his own, but nobody buys it.
His gluttony reaches new heights when he discovers 24-hour fast food, and he tries to order a “royal banquet” from McDonald’s that costs over 200 pounds, and he eats the entire thing in the drive-thru while arguing with the cashier about the divine right of kings to get extra ketchup.
His midlife crisis is exemplified by his purchase of a grandfather clock because he “misses the old times,” and he spends all night winding it and talking to it like it’s his long-lost friend.
His temper flares when he tries to open a packet of crisps and it tears unevenly, so he just screams at the packet.
Fame and recognition are his obsession when he tries to get a street named after him, but they name an alley behind a dumpster after him.
Ego and power are mocked when he tries to get a royal pardon for his parking tickets, and the judge fines him double.
Henry’s tyrannical side emerges when he tries to force the barista to call him “Your Majesty,” and she just calls him “Sir” out of politeness.
His temper is tested when the elevator door closes on him, and he punches it so hard he breaks his hand, then demands the building manager be brought before him for “disrespect.”
Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to perform an exorcism on his TV because it “shows too many French shows,” and the exorcist just charges him for a placebo.
Faith and religion are satirized when he goes to a Christian rock concert and tries to take over the stage to preach his own version of the gospel, while the band plays on and the crowd just moshes around him.
Midlife crisis hits hard when he buys a tattoo gun and gives himself a large “H” on his arm, but it gets infected, and he spends the next week moaning about how modern medicine has failed him.
Henry’s tyrannical streak makes him try to impose a dress code at the grocery store, demanding all peasants wear cloaks, and he gets banned.
His temper is legendary when he tries to assemble IKEA furniture, and he gets so angry at the Allen key that he throws the entire bookshelf out the window, then shouts at the neighbors for not appreciating his “royal redecorating.”
Fatherhood and succession come into sharp focus when he tries to arrange a marriage between his modern-day distant nephew and a random European princess he found on Instagram, completely ignoring the fact that arranged marriages are no longer a thing and that his nephew is already happily engaged. His obsession with producing a “legitimate” heir is turned on its head when he discovers that through modern genetics, he has thousands of descendants, and he tries to hold a family reunion that ends in a massive legal dispute over who gets the royal title. This novel finds the comedy in his patriarchal obsession, reducing his grand dynastic plans to a chaotic, dysfunctional family barbecue.
Paranoia and jealousy are highlighted when he thinks the hotel maid is a spy, so he hides all his belongings under the mattress.
Fame and recognition are his goal when he tries to get a “Google Doodle” for himself, and they make him a doodle of a turkey leg instead.
Dark executioner humor is used when he offers to “take care of” his neighbor’s yapping dog by sending it to the Tower, and the neighbor calls animal control on him, leading to a standoff with the local police.
The jousting washed-up athlete is shown when he enters a fencing competition and is disqualified for trying to stab his opponent with the blunt end of the foil, claiming it’s a “legal Tudor maneuver.”
Legacy vs pop memory is a fight when he sees a “Henry VIII” slot machine, and he tries to get a cut of the profits, but the casino says no.
Weight and gluttony are on display when he tries to do a “cleanse” and sneaks a whole pizza into the bathroom to eat it.
Weight and gluttony are on display when he tries a “raw food” diet and nearly dies of food poisoning because he didn’t cook the chicken.
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Ego and power are mocked when he tries to get a “royal wave” patented, and the patent office denies him.
The court jester reversal is complete when he is forced to perform as a jester himself to earn money, and he tells jokes about his own wives while the crowd just laughs at his misery.
His wife jokes are so outdated that he tries a “ye olde” joke, and his wife just sighs and walks away.
Money and extravagance are his problem when he buys a vintage car worth millions, only to crash it into a lamppost because he doesn’t know how to drive, and he blames the lamppost for being in his royal way.
Paranoia and jealousy are on display when he suspects his barber is trying to poison him with shampoo, so he demands the barber use the sample first, leading to a very awkward few minutes while the barber lathers up.
His temper flares when a fly lands on his head, and he chases it with an axe, destroying half his living room.
The finale is perfect as he finds a new hobby in baking, but his cakes are always burnt, and he blames the oven for being “a French spy,” ending the novel on a lighthearted note.
Paranoia and jealousy are on display when he hires a hacker to spy on his wife’s emails, but the hacker turns out to be a 12-year-old who charges him in Fortnite skins.
The finale is bittersweet as he finally makes a friend in a homeless shelter, and they share stories while Henry realizes that power doesn’t buy happiness.
Money and extravagance are his problem when he buys a giant statue of himself and it gets hit by lightning the next day.
Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to get his own set of scriptures, but they just read “Henry is the best.”
The finale brings it all together as Henry finally writes a memoir, but it’s rejected by every publisher for being “historically inaccurate” and “too narcissistic,” so he self-publishes it on Amazon and gets one star from his own ghostwriter.
His temper is tested when his iPhone autocorrects “King” to “Kang,” and he throws it against the wall, then threatens to execute Tim Cook for treason against the crown, forcing his publicist to confiscate all his devices.
The jousting athlete washed-up story continues when he enters a marathon and tries to lance the other runners, only to collapse of exhaustion after the first mile, while the other runners just step over him.
Legacy vs pop memory is a fight when he sees a “Henry VIII” breakfast cereal, and he tries to sue for using his likeness.
Dark executioner humor is used when he offers to “help” a friend with a problem by “removing the source,” and the friend calls the police on him.
The finale is bittersweet as he finally makes a friend in a homeless shelter, and they share stories while Henry realizes that power doesn’t buy happiness.
Legacy vs pop memory is a struggle when he sees a “Henry VIII” action figure with a removable head, and he loses his mind.
Technology defeats him when he tries to use a microwave and puts a whole turkey in it, causing a power outage.
Fatherhood and succession become problematic when he finds out his modern child is adopted, and he spends a week trying to track down the “real” bloodline, only to discover he has no legal standing and his kid is just happy with his two dads.
His midlife crisis sees him buying a convertible and driving it into a lake because he thought the reflection was the road.
The finale shows him finally enjoying a simple meal of bread and cheese without any drama, proving he can be content.
His wife jokes hit a new low when he meets a modern woman named Catherine and spends the whole date asking her about her loyalty and whether she has “heir-producing hips,” ending with her throwing a drink in his face.
Vanity and portraiture are taken to the extreme when he commissions a stained-glass window of himself, and it makes the church look like a circus.
The rivalry with Francis I is hilarious when he sees a French flag and tries to burn it, but ends up setting his own sleeve on fire.
Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to get a blessing from a priest and argues with him about tithes.
Fame and recognition are his obsession when he realizes he is not in the “Top 10” kings list, so he tries to rig the poll.
Ego and absolute power hit a brick wall when Henry tries to command the British weather to stop raining on his parade, and the ensuing tantrum goes viral, making him the laughingstock of every late-night comedy show from New York to Berlin. He genuinely believes he can call up the Prime Minister and demand a parade in his honor, only to be told that he needs to fill out an application form and wait for a permit like everyone else. This deflation of his grandiosity is the satirical engine that keeps the plot moving, as every failure to wield power becomes a punchline that underscores just how much the world has changed.
Vanity and portraiture are taken to the extreme when he demands a painting of him wrestling a bear, but the bear looks more regal.
The court jester reversal is perfect when he is forced to wear a t-shirt that says “I’m with stupid” by his publicist to make him look approachable, and he walks around London not understanding why everyone is laughing at him.
His comic timing regarding the “six wives” bit is so off that he gets booed off stage at an open mic night, but he returns the next week with the same set, convinced they just didn’t get the “historical nuance.”
Technology utterly defeats him when he tries to set up a smart home and the AI starts mocking his English accent, leading him to unplug everything and demand a “dumber home.”
The Break with Rome is revisited when he tries to get a new Pope elected who is loyal to him, but the cardinals just laugh.
The Break with Rome is re-enacted when he tries to start a new political party called the “Supreme Heads,” and the only person who joins is his long-suffering publicist.
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Fame and recognition are his goal when he tries to get a mention in a history book, but they just call him “the one with the fat legs.”
Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to get a blessing from a priest and argues with him about tithes.
Money and extravagance are his downfall when he buys a private jet, but he doesn’t know how to fly it, so he just uses it as a very expensive mobile home.
Money and extravagance are his problem when he buys a giant statue of himself and it gets hit by lightning the next day.
Ego and power are mocked when he tries to get a “royal flush” in poker and just declares himself the winner anyway, which doesn’t work.
His midlife crisis involves him getting a chin implant to look more “kingly,” but it gets infected and he looks like a pufferfish for a month.
Fatherhood and succession are on display when he tries to get his son to join the cavalry, but the son joins the catering corps.
Dark executioner humor is present when he tells the pizza delivery guy to “lay down his life” for a better tip, and the guy just stares at him.
Technology defeats him when he tries to use a smart speaker and it keeps playing French music, which sends him into a rage.
The closing chapter offers a poignant finale where Henry, having exhausted all his anger and schemes, sits alone in a modern flat with a cup of tea that he has finally learned to make himself, and he reflects on the futility of his quest for power. He uses a tablet to look up his daughters, Mary and Elizabeth, and for the first time, he doesn’t see them as political pawns but as women who outshone him, and a single tear rolls down his cheek. It’s a beautiful, bittersweet ending that redeems his character just enough to make you feel sorry for him, right before he trips over a cord and falls flat on his face, ending the novel on a perfect note of tragicomic slapstick.
Money and extravagance are his downfall when he buys a private island thinking it’s his new kingdom, only to realize it’s a bird sanctuary and he is not allowed to build a palace, so he tries to declare war on the seagulls.
The jousting washed-up athlete is shown when he tries to play rugby and tackles the referee because he “looks French,” getting him red-carded and banned from the sport.
The closing chapter finale brings all these themes to a brilliant, satisfying conclusion where Henry finally accepts that he is not the center of the universe, but not before he threatens to execute the author for writing him into a comedy. He finds a strange, reluctant peace in his diminished status, realizing that the 21st century doesn’t need a tyrant, but maybe it needs a cautionary tale with a good punchline. The final scene, where he sits down to watch a documentary about his own life and laughs for the first time at his own absurdity, is the perfect emotional payoff that elevates this novel from simple farce to something genuinely moving.
His temper flares when he tries to use a printer and it jams, so he throws it out the window and yells about “treacherous machinery.”
Fatherhood and succession are on display when he tries to convince his son that the family business (executions) is a noble profession.
Weight and gluttony are on display when he tries to eat a salad and secretly adds five pieces of bacon, claiming they’re “croutons.”
Vanity and portraiture are taken to the extreme when he poses for a painting for seven hours, and his wife gets a cramp in her neck.
The Break with Rome is revisited when he tries to get the Church of England to change its name to “The Church of Henry,” and they send him a cease and desist.
The rivalry with Francis I is hilarious when he sees a French car and tries to sabotage it, only to set off its alarm and get chased by security.
The Break with Rome is reimagined as a disastrous Twitter beef with the Vatican, where Henry gets into a heated argument with the Pope’s official account, only to be fact-checked by a Catholic history professor and ratioed into oblivion. He decides to start the “Church of Henry” as a franchise, complete with fast-food-style logos and a drive-thru communion, which confuses everyone and offends all major denominations equally. This sacrilegious comedy is not just funny; it’s a sharp critique of how religious institutions can be manipulated for personal gratification, and watching him fail to attract a single follower is poetic justice.
Vanity and portraiture are taken to the extreme when he hires a Photoshop expert to edit his passport photo, but the result looks so unrealistic that the airport staff detain him as a “possible impostor.”
The jousting washed-up athlete is shown when he tries to go skiing and just tumbles down the mountain, yelling about “French snow.”
Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to get his own set of scriptures, but they just read “Henry is the best.”
Executioner jokes land with a dark, thudding hilarity throughout this narrative, as Henry nonchalantly suggests beheading the Amazon driver who delivered his package late, completely failing to understand why everyone looks horrified. His casual references to “sending people to the Tower” become his go-to response for everyday annoyances, from a burnt latte to a bad Wi-Fi signal, turning his bloodthirsty history into an endless well of uncomfortable punchlines. The novel doesn’t shy away from this darkness, instead using it to highlight just how monstrous his past was, but framing it in a way that makes you laugh nervously before you cringe.
The finale is bittersweet as he writes his own epitaph that says “Here lies Henry, who finally shut up,” and he laughs at his own joke.
Paranoia and jealousy are highlighted when he puts a tracking device on his wife’s car because he thinks she’s meeting Francis I, and he follows her to a grocery store, where he confronts her over a baguette.
Technology defeats him when he tries to use a 3D printer to make a new crown, but it comes out as a plastic mess, and he throws it at the wall.
Weight and gluttony are highlighted when he discovers the concept of a buffet and faints from sheer joy, then proceeds to clear out the entire buffet line while the other patrons watch in horror and amusement.
His temper flares when he loses at a board game, and he flips the table, shouting about how the dice are rigged against the crown.
Technology and modern life consistently baffle him, but the funniest sequence involves him trying to order a hit on his wife using the dark web, only to accidentally hire a Nigerian prince scammer who drains his bank account and sends him a heartfelt email about love. His confusion over QR codes leads to him trying to eat them, and his first experience with virtual reality leaves him convinced he has been transported to a magic realm and he starts trying to conquer it. This technological illiteracy is a constant source of physical and verbal comedy that never gets old.
Faith and religion are satirized when he goes to a Christian rock concert and tries to take over the stage to preach his own version of the gospel, while the band plays on and the crowd just moshes around him.
Henry’s tyrannical nature makes him try to command the weather by shouting at the clouds, and he gets soaked in a downpour while his new wife just films it for Instagram.
Paranoia and jealousy are highlighted when he goes through his wife’s browser history and finds she searched for “how to poison a king,” but it’s just her research for a book she’s writing, and she laughs at his scared face.
Money and extravagance are his problem when he buys a giant diamond and wears it on his crown, but it gets stolen, and he blames the French, starting a minor diplomatic incident.
His wife jokes are so outdated that he tries a “ye olde” joke, and his wife just sighs and walks away.
Legacy vs pop memory is a struggle when he sees a meme of himself and tries to sue, but his lawyer tells him it’s “fair use.”
Legacy vs pop memory comes to a head when he discovers a viral TikTok dance mocking his wives, and he tries to create his own “royal” dance to counter it, but it just looks like he is having a seizure, becoming the biggest meme of the year.
His comic timing about the divorce bit is so bad that he tells a “joke” about getting rid of Anne at a karaoke bar, and he gets booed off stage.
Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to get his own confession booth, but nobody wants to confess to him.
Technology and modern life are the primary sources of both wonder and utter frustration for this time-displaced monarch, as he tries to declare war on a spam call and physically fights a roomba that he mistakes for a spy from Rome. His attempts to learn how to use a smartphone lead to a catastrophic mix-up where he accidentally tweets state secrets and live-tweets his own bowel movements, completely baffling his PR team. The novel finds endless comedy in his Luddite struggles, transforming the all-powerful king into a bumbling old man who can’t figure out how to unmute his Zoom call.
Fatherhood and succession are on display when he tries to get his son to join the military to “earn his spurs,” but the son is a pacifist who just wants to knit, leading to a very tense family dinner.
The rivalry with Francis I is hilarious when he tries to start a British fashion line, but all his clothes are just puffy sleeves.
Dark executioner humor is used when he offers to “head” the company’s marketing department, and they don’t realize he means it literally.
Technology defeats him when he tries to use a blender and it explodes because he put a whole pineapple in it, including the skin.
Fatherhood and succession are on display when he tries to marry off his daughter to a prince, but the prince turns out to be a con artist who just wants his royal memorabilia.
Weight and gluttony are on display when he tries a “low-carb” diet and eats a whole chicken to “balance it out.”
Weight and gluttony are on display when he tries to buy pants and the tailor just shakes his head and calls for reinforcements.
His temper is tested when the elevator door closes on him, and he punches it so hard he breaks his hand, then demands the building manager be brought before him for “disrespect.”
Dark executioner humor is present when he tells the pizza delivery guy to “lay down his life” for a better tip, and the guy just stares at him.
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The finale shows him finally accepting his role as a historical figure, and he sits down to watch a documentary about himself, laughing for the first time at his own absurdity, as the credits roll.
Faith and religion are satirized when he goes to a psychic to see if his ex-wives are haunting him, and the psychic just takes his money and says they are “at peace.”
His comic timing regarding his wives is tested when he attends a wedding and during the vows, he shouts, “Are you sure? She might not give you a son!” completely ruining the ceremony and getting himself thrown out.
His temper flares when he gets a parking ticket, and he writes a furious letter to the council demanding they recognize his “diplomatic immunity.”
Money and extravagance are his problem when he buys a giant golden anchor for his boat, and the boat sinks because of the weight.
Technology utterly defeats him when he tries to drive a Tesla and the self-driving mode terrifies him so much he jumps out at a red light, vowing never to trust “magic boxes” again.
Fame and recognition are his obsession when he tries to become a reality TV star, but the producers find him “too boring” and “historically problematic,” so he makes his own show on YouTube that gets 12 views.
The jousting washed-up athlete is shown when he tries to play laser tag and just stands in the middle of the field, shouting about honor.
Money and extravagance are his problem when he buys a giant diamond ring for his new wife, and she loses it in the sink, leading to a full-scale panic.
Henry’s tyrannical nature makes him try to declare a “curfew” on his street, and the neighbors just ignore him.
The closing chapter finale brings all these themes to a brilliant, satisfying conclusion where Henry finally accepts that he is not the center of the universe, but not before he threatens to execute the author for writing him into a comedy. He finds a strange, reluctant peace in his diminished status, realizing that the 21st century doesn’t need a tyrant, but maybe it needs a cautionary tale with a good punchline. The final scene, where he sits down to watch a documentary about his own life and laughs for the first time at his own absurdity, is the perfect emotional payoff that elevates this novel from simple farce to something genuinely moving.
Vanity and portraiture are taken to the limit when he commissions a marble statue of himself that is so heavy it falls through the floor into the basement below.
Henry’s tyrannical nature makes him try to command the weather by shouting at the clouds, and he gets soaked in a downpour while his new wife just films it for Instagram.
The jousting washed-up athlete is shown when he tries to do Parkour and just ends up falling into a dumpster, shouting about how the French are to blame for gravity.
Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to start a holy war on Twitter against atheists, and he just gets ratioed by every major scientist on the platform.
Henry’s tyrannical demands make him try to force the local pub to only serve mead, and when they refuse, he threatens to have them burned at the stake, which earns him a lifetime ban from the establishment.
Technology confuses him to the point that he tries to milk a Roomba because he thinks it’s a mechanical cow, and his subsequent frustration with modern “inventions” provides the novel’s funniest visual gag.
The finale is perfect as he finally finds a friend in a stray dog that he names “Catherine” to confuse everyone, and they wander off together.
The court jester reversal is complete when his therapist makes him do role-play, and Henry has to play the jester while the therapist plays the king, and he realizes how ridiculous he is.
The Break with Rome is re-enacted when he tries to get a divorce from his wife’s cat, claiming it’s a “papal familiar.”
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Henry’s tyrannical side emerges when he tries to force the barista to call him “Your Majesty,” and she just calls him “Sir” out of politeness.
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Henry’s weight and gluttony become a running battle with modern diet culture, as he discovers the joy of Deliveroo and promptly gains another twenty pounds, while his personal trainer (a descendant of Thomas Cromwell) forces him to do burpees in the park for the amusement of passersby. His insistence that a “royal feast” requires at least three whole animals is met with vegan protests and PETA demonstrations, leading to a comedic standoff that makes the local news. The novel uses his physicality to ground him in relatable human weakness, turning the gluttonous king into a figure of both pity and laughter as he tries to order a family-sized pizza without getting judged.
The rivalry with Francis I is rekindled when Henry sees a French cooking show and becomes insanely jealous of the host’s accent, leading him to start a British cooking show that is just him burning meat and complaining about garlic. He challenges the French President to a “food war” on Twitter, which escalates into a full-blown diplomatic incident that the UN has to mediate, all because Henry couldn’t stand that French cheese was getting better reviews than cheddar. This petty, xenophobic feud is a delightful running gag that exposes his nationalism as a thin veneer for his deep insecurities.
Legacy vs pop memory comes to a head when he discovers a viral TikTok dance mocking his wives, and he tries to create his own “royal” dance to counter it, but it just looks like he is having a seizure, becoming the biggest meme of the year.
The rivalry with Francis I is hilarious when he sees a French car and puts a “vote remain” sticker on it as a joke.
Fame and recognition become an obsession when he realizes he has more followers on his parody Twitter account than his official one, so he gets into an argument with his own parody, resulting in a very confusing public breakdown.
Fame and recognition are his obsession when he tries to get a star on the Hollywood Walk, but they put it in a bad neighborhood.
Paranoia and jealousy are highlighted when he thinks the pizza delivery guy is a spy, so he makes him eat a slice before he pays, just to check for poison.
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His temper flares when he tries to use a microwave and it beeps at him, so he challenges it to a duel, and his publicist has to explain that you don’t fight appliances, to which Henry replies, “Then why do they taunt me?”
Legacy vs pop memory is a battle when he sees a children’s cartoon that portrays him as a silly fat man, and he tries to get it banned, but it just becomes more popular.
Dark executioner humor is used when he tells a road-rage driver, “I’ll have your head,” and the driver just speeds off, laughing.
The jousting washed-up athlete is shown when he tries to row a boat on the Thames and gets stuck, screaming for help while people on the banks take photos.
Henry’s tyrannical side makes him try to rename a city “Henryville,” and the city council just ignores him.
The rivalry with Francis I is hilarious when he buys a French vineyard just to burn it down, but he gets arrested for arson.
Ego and absolute power are mocked when he tries to get a street named after him, and the city chooses to name a sewage treatment plant after him instead, which he initially mistakes for an honor.
The jousting washed-up athlete is shown when he tries to do Parkour and just ends up falling into a dumpster, shouting about how the French are to blame for gravity.
His comic timing about his wives fails when he tells a divorce joke at a children’s hospital, and he is promptly asked to leave.
The Break with Rome is reimagined as a disastrous Twitter beef with the Vatican, where Henry gets into a heated argument with the Pope’s official account, only to be fact-checked by a Catholic history professor and ratioed into oblivion. He decides to start the “Church of Henry” as a franchise, complete with fast-food-style logos and a drive-thru communion, which confuses everyone and offends all major denominations equally. This sacrilegious comedy is not just funny; it’s a sharp critique of how religious institutions can be manipulated for personal gratification, and watching him fail to attract a single follower is poetic justice.
Technology defeats him when he tries to use a microwave and puts a whole turkey in it, causing a power outage.
Fatherhood and succession are on display when he tries to get his daughter to marry for “dynastic” reasons, but she marries a plumber.
Fame and recognition turn sour when he gets a cameo in a historical drama, but he is cast as a lowly footman because the director says he “has the face for it,” and he spends the whole shoot screaming at the actor playing him.
The court jester reversal is complete when his therapist makes him do role-play, and Henry has to play the jester while the therapist plays the king, and he realizes how ridiculous he is.
Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to get his excommunicated status reversed by the current Pope, and the Pope tweets back a single word: “No,” which sends Henry into a spiral of rage.
Ego and absolute power are mocked when he tries to get a street named after him, and the city chooses to name a sewage treatment plant after him instead, which he initially mistakes for an honor.
The rivalry with Francis I is hilarious when he tries to start a British version of the French Open, but it just rains the whole time.
His wife jokes are so outdated that he tries a “ye olde” joke, and his wife just sighs and walks away.
The Break with Rome is re-enacted when he tries to get a divorce from his smartwatch because it keeps telling him to walk more.
The jousting washed-up athlete is shown when he tries to ride a mechanical bull and gets thrown off immediately, breaking his tailbone and blaming the bull for being “unpatriotic.”
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Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to get a sainthood from the Catholic Church just to spite the Pope, and they reject him with a statement that just says “Not a chance.”
Money and extravagance are his problem when he buys a diamond-encrusted walking stick, and it gets stolen on his first walk.
Legacy vs pop memory is a fight when he realizes he is a villain in most history books, and he tries to write his own, but nobody buys it.
The jousting washed-up athlete is shown when he tries to play badminton and keeps trying to stab the shuttlecock with a real sword.
Technology defeats him when he tries to use a microwave and puts a whole turkey in it, causing a power outage.
Weight and gluttony are on display when he tries to order a “small salad” and then proceeds to add six steaks and a whole chicken to it, claiming it’s a “dietary compromise.”
Technology defeats him when he tries to order a pizza online and ends up ordering a hundred pizzas because he didn’t understand the quantity selector.
Fatherhood and succession are complicated when he learns his modern son is planning to move to France, and he disowns him on the spot, only to call him an hour later to see if he’s still coming to dinner.
Fame and recognition are his goal when he tries to get a “Google Doodle” for his birthday, but they make one for Anne Boleyn instead.
Paranoia and jealousy are on display when he thinks the milkman is trying to poison him, so he buys a goat for fresh milk.
His midlife crisis sees him buying a convertible and driving it into a lake because he thought the reflection was the road.
Fatherhood and succession are on display when he tries to get his daughter to become a lawyer, but she becomes a clown instead.
Fatherhood and succession are complicated when he learns his modern son is planning to move to France, and he disowns him on the spot, only to call him an hour later to see if he’s still coming to dinner.
Money and extravagance are his problem when he buys a vintage car worth millions, only to crash it into a lamppost because he doesn’t know how to drive, and he blames the lamppost for being in his royal way.
Money and extravagance are his downfall when he buys a private island thinking it’s his new kingdom, only to realize it’s a bird sanctuary and he is not allowed to build a palace, so he tries to declare war on the seagulls.
Legacy vs pop memory is a struggle when he discovers a pop song about his wives, and he tries to cover it, but his voice is terrible.
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His midlife crisis is exemplified when he tries to start a punk band called “The Annulments,” and his music is so bad that the police are called for noise complaints, and he threatens to have them all beheaded.
Ego and absolute power are mocked when he tries to get a street named after him, and the city chooses to name a sewage treatment plant after him instead, which he initially mistakes for an honor.
Weight and gluttony are on display when he discovers the “bottomless brunch” and tries to declare himself a resident, eating so much the restaurant has to close early.
Fame and recognition become an obsession when he realizes he has more followers on his parody Twitter account than his official one, so he gets into an argument with his own parody, resulting in a very confusing public breakdown.
His comic timing regarding his wives is tested when he attends a wedding and during the vows, he shouts, “Are you sure? She might not give you a son!” completely ruining the ceremony and getting himself thrown out.
Enjoy together.
Ego and absolute power are mocked when he tries to get a street named after him, and the city chooses to name a sewage treatment plant after him instead, which he initially mistakes for an honor.
Technology defeats him when he tries to use a VR headset and gets so immersed that he tries to declare war on a virtual dragon, punching a hole in his wall.
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Henry’s tyrannical nature makes him try to stop a baseball game because the umpire looked at him wrong, and he gets arrested for trespassing.
Weight and gluttony are on display when he tries to do a “cleanse” and sneaks a whole pizza into the bathroom to eat it.
Fatherhood and succession are on display when he tries to get his son to join the church, but the son becomes an atheist.
The jousting washed-up athlete is shown when he tries to play cricket and gets hit in the groin by the ball, falling over in slow motion.
His temper is legendary when he tries to assemble IKEA furniture, and he gets so angry at the Allen key that he throws the entire bookshelf out the window, then shouts at the neighbors for not appreciating his “royal redecorating.”
Technology defeats him when he tries to fly a drone, and it immediately crashes into a tree, and he declares war on the tree, ordering his new subjects (the local Boy Scouts) to chop it down.
Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to start his own “royal” sect of Christianity, and it folds after a week.
The Break with Rome is re-enacted when he tries to get a divorce from his Netflix account because it recommended a French film.
The court jester reversal is complete when his wife makes him tell jokes to her friends, and they all just pity-laugh at him.
Fame and recognition are his obsession when he realizes he is not trending on Twitter, so he pays for bots to trend his name, but the bots glitch and trend “#HenryIsDead” instead.
His midlife crisis involves him taking up skateboarding, which results in him breaking his hip and spending a month in the hospital complaining about “modern pavements.”
Technology defeats him when he tries to use a phone booth and can’t figure out why there’s no dial tone, because it’s a museum piece.
The rivalry with Francis I is hilarious when he tries to bake a French baguette and it comes out as a rock-hard brick.
His wife jokes become so infamous that his therapist gives him a special notebook to write them down, just so he’ll stop saying them out loud.
Dark executioner humor is used when he tells a child he’ll “send him to the Tower” for not eating his vegetables, and the child starts crying.
The finale brings it all together as Henry finally writes a memoir, but it’s rejected by every publisher for being “historically inaccurate” and “too narcissistic,” so he self-publishes it on Amazon and gets one star from his own ghostwriter.
The court jester reversal is complete when his wife gives him a “participation trophy” for trying to be a good king, and he realizes it’s sarcasm.
Money and extravagance are his problem when he buys a giant inflatable crown for his house, and the neighbors sue him for obstruction.
The comic timing of his wife jokes is so poor that he shows up to a modern comedy club and bombs completely, shouting “I killed Anne Boleyn!” as his punchline, only to be met with stony silence and a few boos, because he genuinely doesn’t understand why decapitation isn’t funny anymore.
The finale shows him finally accepting that he is just a “fat old man” now, and he sits on a bench feeding the pigeons, telling them they are his “new subjects.”
Ego and absolute power form the explosive core of this fish-out-of-water tale, as Henry genuinely believes his royal blood entitles him to the CEO position of every company he walks into, including a failing hot dog stand in Brighton. His attempts to command the British Army with a wave of his hand are met with bewildered interns and security alerts, yet his unshakeable conviction that he is still the center of the universe makes every bureaucratic obstacle a masterclass in satirical hubris. Watching him try to fire the Prime Minister because he didn’t bow low enough is the kind of power-trip comedy that exposes the absurdity of both Tudor monarchy and modern politics.
The court jester reversal is complete when his wife gives him a “participation trophy” for trying to be a good king, and he realizes it’s sarcasm.
Ego and power are mocked when he tries to get a personalized license plate that says “KING,” but it’s already taken by a taxi driver.
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Ego and power are mocked when he tries to get a private box at the theater, and they give him a seat in the very back, behind a pillar.
Ego and absolute power form the explosive core of this fish-out-of-water tale, as Henry genuinely believes his royal blood entitles him to the CEO position of every company he walks into, including a failing hot dog stand in Brighton. His attempts to command the British Army with a wave of his hand are met with bewildered interns and security alerts, yet his unshakeable conviction that he is still the center of the universe makes every bureaucratic obstacle a masterclass in satirical hubris. Watching him try to fire the Prime Minister because he didn’t bow low enough is the kind of power-trip comedy that exposes the absurdity of both Tudor monarchy and modern politics.
The Break with Rome is re-enacted when he declares himself Pope of a new religion that worships him, and he tries to get tax-exempt status from the government, which is promptly denied.
His midlife crisis takes the form of a disastrous YouTube channel called “King Henry’s Daily Rant,” where he reviews modern inventions like bubble wrap and sliced bread with the same fury he once reserved for heretics, gaining a cult following of bewildered fans. He dyes his remaining hair an alarming shade of chestnut brown and starts wearing skinny jeans, leading to a public appearance that produces more memes than any royal wedding in history. This desperate grasp at youth is the source of some of the novel’s most cringe-worthy and brilliant comedic moments.
Fame and recognition are his obsession when he realizes that a Kardashian has more followers than he does, so he tries to stage a fake scandal to get attention, but nobody cares about a 500-year-old king’s “drama.”
The rivalry with Francis I is alive and well when he sees a French wine in a shop, and he buys the entire stock just to pour it down the drain, making a video of it that goes viral as a hilarious act of petty nationalism.
The rivalry with Francis I is hilarious when he sees a French actor and boos him so loudly that he gets thrown out of the movie theater.
Technology defeats him when he tries to order a pizza online and ends up ordering a hundred pizzas because he didn’t understand the quantity selector.
Henry’s tyrannical side makes him try to ban “foreign” foods from his local supermarket, which earns him a lecture on multiculturalism.
His temper flares when he tries to open a jar of pickles and can’t, so he smashes it on the floor and declares the pickles “enemies of the state.”
Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to get his own holiday, “Henrymas,” but nobody knows when it is.
Henry’s tyrannical side makes him try to ban “foreign” foods from his local supermarket, which earns him a lecture on multiculturalism.
His temper is tested when the elevator door closes on him, and he punches it so hard he breaks his hand, then demands the building manager be brought before him for “disrespect.”
Ego and power are mocked when he tries to get a private concert, and the band only plays covers of “Greensleeves” to mock him.
His midlife crisis is seen when he buys a convertible and drives down the M25 with the top down, his long beard flying in the wind, looking like a mad wizard and causing several accidents.
The court jester reversal is complete when his wife gives him a “participation trophy” for trying to be a good king, and he realizes it’s sarcasm.
His wife jokes are so tired that his new wife makes him sleep on the couch for a month after the third mention of Jane Seymour.
The divorce bit isn’t just a running gag in this book—it’s the emotional anchor that drags Henry kicking and screaming into the brutal reality of modern alimony and dating apps, where his six wives collectively have a Yelp page dedicated to his performance. Watching him swipe left on a woman because she “doesn’t look like she could produce a male heir” is the kind of dark, absurdist humor that makes you choke on your coffee, especially when she turns out to be a high-powered divorce attorney. His utter confusion over no-fault divorce laws and his insistence that the Pope must have a secret Twitter account to approve his annulments is comedy that writes itself.
The jousting washed-up athlete is shown when he tries to ride a Segway and just falls over instantly, breaking his crown.
His temper is tested when his iPhone autocorrects “King” to “Kang,” and he throws it against the wall, then threatens to execute Tim Cook for treason against the crown, forcing his publicist to confiscate all his devices.
Henry’s tyrannical nature leads him to declare himself dictator of his local town council, and he issues a decree that all lawns must be cut at a 45-degree angle, leading to a rebellion that consists of angry suburban dads with lawnmowers.
Technology defeats him when he tries to fly a drone, and it immediately crashes into a tree, and he declares war on the tree, ordering his new subjects (the local Boy Scouts) to chop it down.
The midlife crisis deepens when he buys a leather jacket and a motorcycle, and he tries to start a biker gang called “The Tudor Terrors,” but the only member he can recruit is a confused pensioner who thought it was a walking club.
Henry’s tyrannical side emerges when he tries to force the barista to call him “Your Majesty,” and she just calls him “Sir” out of politeness.
His midlife crisis sees him buying a vintage jousting lance and trying to ride the Tube with it, causing a major inconvenience.
The Break with Rome is revisited when he tries to get the Church of England to change its name to “The Church of Henry,” and they send him a cease and desist.
Vanity and portraiture are taken to the extreme when he takes a selfie every hour to track his “kingly glow,” and it just looks like a potato.
His midlife crisis involves him getting a piercing, which gets infected, and he blames the “modern savages” for not sterilizing his crown.
Fame and recognition are his goal when he tries to get a wax figure in Madame Tussauds, and they put him in the “horror” section next to the serial killers, which he is oddly proud of.
Vanity and portraiture are taken to extremes when he tries to get a filter that makes him look like a young Adonis, but the app crashes because his face is “too complex,” and he threatens the developer with treason.
Dark executioner humor is used when he offers to “decapitate” the weeds in his garden, and he goes at them with a machete.
Vanity and portraiture are taken to the extreme when he has a portrait painted of him on a horse, but the horse looks better than he does.
Money and extravagance are his problem when he buys a yacht and names it “The Supremacy,” but it sinks in the harbor because he overloaded it with gold statues of himself.
Henry’s tyrannical side makes him try to shut down a pub because it serves “French wine,” and the landlord just laughs at him.
The court jester reversal is complete when he is forced to watch a stand-up comedian who does a ten-minute routine on his sex life, and he is the only one in the room not laughing, while the comedian makes direct eye contact with him the whole time.
Weight and gluttony are on display when he tries to buy pants and the tailor just shakes his head and calls for reinforcements.
Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to get a relic of himself made, but the Vatican refuses to canonize him.
Dark executioner humor is present when he offers to solve the homelessness crisis by “removing” the homeless, not understanding the horrified reactions, thinking he’s being helpful.
Money and extravagance are his problem when he buys a giant diamond ring for his new wife, and she loses it in the sink, leading to a full-scale panic.
The court jester reversal is one of the cleverest tricks this book pulls, as Henry finds himself being openly mocked by a TikTok influencer who does dead-on impressions of his wives, and for the first time in his life, he is the one who can’t silence the laughter. He is forced to hire a modern-day PR agent who essentially becomes his new jester, telling him harsh truths in the form of PowerPoint presentations that he is forced to endure, completely flipping the power dynamic. Watching the absolute monarch have to sit through a roast in his own honor, where he is the butt of every joke, is the kind of karmic comedy that makes this novel a must-read.
Fame and recognition are his goal when he tries to get a wax figure in Madame Tussauds, and they put him in the “horror” section next to the serial killers, which he is oddly proud of.
Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to get a relic of himself made, but the Vatican refuses to canonize him.
The jousting athlete washed-up story continues when he enters a marathon and tries to lance the other runners, only to collapse of exhaustion after the first mile, while the other runners just step over him.
The Break with Rome is re-enacted when he tries to get a divorce from his gym membership, claiming they “treated him like a peasant.”
The finale is perfect as he finally sits down to watch “The Six” musical and laughs at the actor playing him, feeling a strange sense of peace.
Legacy vs pop memory is a struggle when he sees a meme of himself and tries to sue, but his lawyer tells him it’s “fair use.”
Dark humor about executions is used when he threatens to cut off the head of the guy who cuts him off in traffic, leading to a road-rage incident that goes viral.
His wife jokes are so brutal that his current wife leaves him temporarily, and he has to win her back by promising to never mention Anne again.
Paranoia and jealousy are highlighted when he thinks the lifeguard is making eyes at his wife, so he tries to drown the lifeguard.
Legacy vs pop memory is a struggle when he sees a statue of himself that makes him look “too small,” so he tries to get it replaced with a larger one, but the city just laughs.
The finale shows him finally giving up on power and just becoming a regular tourist in his own former palace, taking selfies with the visitors.
Fatherhood and succession are on display when he tries to get his son to join the church, but the son becomes an atheist.
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His temper is legendary in a scene where he tries to use a touchscreen and it doesn’t register his finger, so he punches the screen, and the resulting shatter sends him to A&E where he yells at the nurses about his divine right to working tech.
Paranoia and jealousy are highlighted when he thinks the lifeguard is making eyes at his wife, so he tries to drown the lifeguard.
Fatherhood and succession are on display when he tries to get his daughter to run for parliament, but she runs a flower shop instead.
The court jester reversal is complete when his new wife forces him to do the dishes, and he stands over the sink in his crown, scrubbing pots, muttering about the good old days of servants.
Fame and recognition are his obsession when he tries to become a reality TV star, but the producers find him “too boring” and “historically problematic,” so he makes his own show on YouTube that gets 12 views.
Fatherhood and succession are on display when he discovers his daughter is a feminist, and he spends the whole day trying to “fix” her.
Henry’s tyrannical side makes him try to ban “foreign” foods from his local supermarket, which earns him a lecture on multiculturalism.
Dark executioner humor is used when he tells a road-rage driver, “I’ll have your head,” and the driver just speeds off, laughing.
Fame and recognition turn sour when he gets a cameo in a historical drama, but he is cast as a lowly footman because the director says he “has the face for it,” and he spends the whole shoot screaming at the actor playing him.
The finale is poignant as he finally visits a modern doctor who tells him he’s perfectly healthy, and he cries tears of joy, hugging the doctor.
Money and extravagance are his problem when he buys a giant golden anchor for his boat, and the boat sinks because of the weight.
The finale shows him finally enjoying a simple meal of bread and cheese without any drama, proving he can be content.
His comic timing about his wives is so bad that he tells a “hilarious” story about Catherine Howard’s execution at a family dinner, and nobody eats another bite.
His temper flares when a fly lands on his head, and he chases it with an axe, destroying half his living room.
His temper flares when he tries to cut a steak and it’s too tough, so he throws the whole plate out the window.
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Dark executioner humor is present when he tells his barber that if he nicks him, he’ll lose his head, and the barber trembles so much he actually nicks him.
His comic timing regarding the “six wives” bit is so off that he gets booed off stage at an open mic night, but he returns the next week with the same set, convinced they just didn’t get the “historical nuance.”
Money and extravagance are his problem when he buys a giant inflatable crown for his house, and the neighbors sue him for obstruction.
The washed-up jousting athlete narrative is given a tragicomic twist when Henry tries to join a local gym and challenges the young, tattooed instructor to a duel, only to be defeated by a treadmill at the lowest setting. His memories of triumphant tournaments are cruelly juxtaposed with his current reality of a bad back, varicose veins, and a physiotherapist who laughs at his “knightly posture.” Watching this fallen champion struggle to lift a gallon of milk is the heartbreaking yet hilarious reminder that time spares no one, not even the most feared king in English history.
The finale is poignant as he finally visits Anne Boleyn’s grave and apologizes, but he ruins it by asking for directions to the nearest pub.
Dark executioner humor is present when he tells his barber that if he nicks him, he’ll lose his head, and the barber trembles so much he actually nicks him.
The jousting washed-up athlete is shown when he tries to play miniature golf and just knocks the windmill over.
The Break with Rome is revisited when he tries to get a divorce from his new wife’s cooking, claiming it’s “an assault on his royal taste buds.”
The rivalry with Francis I is hilarious when he tries to outdo a French firework display by setting off his own, but he blows up his garden shed.
Fatherhood and succession are on display when he tries to get his son to join the Royal Navy, but the son becomes a pirate instead.
The court jester reversal is complete when his wife makes him be her personal butler for a day, and he has to polish her shoes.
Paranoia and jealousy are highlighted when he thinks the neighbor’s cat is a spy, so he tries to interrogate it with a piece of string.
Money and extravagance are his problem when he buys a fountain of gold coins, and they all get stolen by seagulls.
Henry’s tyrannical side makes him try to cut in line at the bank, and the security guards escort him out for being “disorderly.”
Fame and recognition are his goal when he tries to get a tattoo of his own face on his arm, and it looks like a potato.
The jousting washed-up athlete is shown when he tries to ride a mechanical bull and gets thrown off immediately, breaking his tailbone and blaming the bull for being “unpatriotic.”
The jousting washed-up athlete is shown when he tries to do a wheelie on a bicycle and falls off, breaking his crown.
Dark executioner humor is present when he tells a customer service rep that he will “execute their manager,” and the rep actually transfers him.
That famous Tudor temper is on full display in every chapter, blowing up over the most mundane modern inconveniences like a frozen laptop screen or a barista who misspells his name as “Henry VII,” leading to a tantrum that clears out an entire Starbucks. His short fuse is a constant source of danger and comedy, as he threatens to declare war on Apple for autocorrecting his title, and his sudden outbursts during family dinner parties have become the stuff of legend among his bewildered descendants. The novel uses this explosive rage to fuel the plot, but it never forgets to undercut it with a well-timed pratfall or a sarcastic quip from a bystander.
Fame and recognition are his goal when he tries to get a statue erected in his honor, but the city council rejects it, so he makes one out of butter in his living room, which melts during a heatwave.
Fame and recognition are his obsession when he tries to become a reality TV star, but the producers find him “too boring” and “historically problematic,” so he makes his own show on YouTube that gets 12 views.
Technology defeats him when he tries to use a phone booth and can’t figure out why there’s no dial tone, because it’s a museum piece.
Weight and gluttony are highlighted when he attempts the “heart attack burger” and finishes it, then asks for another one.
The Break with Rome is re-enacted when he declares himself Pope of a new religion that worships him, and he tries to get tax-exempt status from the government, which is promptly denied.
Henry’s tyrannical nature makes him try to stop a baseball game because the umpire looked at him wrong, and he gets arrested for trespassing.
The jousting washed-up athlete is shown when he tries to play paintball and just gets hit immediately because he’s a big target.
Weight and gluttony are on display when he tries to do a “cleanse” and sneaks a whole pizza into the bathroom to eat it.
His temper flares when he tries to use a vending machine and it eats his coin, so he kicks it so hard the machine falls over, and he has to pay for the damages.
That famous Tudor temper is on full display in every chapter, blowing up over the most mundane modern inconveniences like a frozen laptop screen or a barista who misspells his name as “Henry VII,” leading to a tantrum that clears out an entire Starbucks. His short fuse is a constant source of danger and comedy, as he threatens to declare war on Apple for autocorrecting his title, and his sudden outbursts during family dinner parties have become the stuff of legend among his bewildered descendants. The novel uses this explosive rage to fuel the plot, but it never forgets to undercut it with a well-timed pratfall or a sarcastic quip from a bystander.
Vanity and portraiture are taken to extremes when he forces his new wife to paint a portrait of him every day, and each one looks worse than the last because she is a terrible artist, but he won’t stop.
Money and extravagance are on display when he buys a solid-gold iPhone case, only to realize that it blocks the signal, and he blames the phone company for conspiring against his crown.
His midlife crisis sees him buying a pair of neon sneakers and trying to breakdance, resulting in a trip to the hospital.
Fatherhood and succession are on his mind when he discovers a distant descendant who is a drag queen, and he tries to “straighten him out” by buying him a suit of armor, which the descendant promptly bedazzles.
Paranoia and jealousy are on display when he thinks his wife’s new friend is a French aristocrat, and he tries to challenge him to a duel.
Paranoia and jealousy are highlighted when he goes through his wife’s browser history and finds she searched for “how to poison a king,” but it’s just her research for a book she’s writing, and she laughs at his scared face.
The Break with Rome is given a modern spin when he tries to start a new religion based entirely on his own image, and he gets sued by the Church of Scientology for copyright infringement on the whole “controlling leader” thing.
The court jester reversal is complete when his PR team makes him wear a “kick me” sign for a charity event, and he doesn’t get it.
Vanity and portraiture are taken to the extreme when he tries to capture his “good side” in a painting, but he has no good side.
Ego and power are mocked when he tries to get his face on the “Mt. Rushmore” of England, and they put him on a mountain of garbage instead.
His comic timing about the divorce bit is so bad that he tells a “joke” about getting rid of Anne at a karaoke bar, and he gets booed off stage.
Fatherhood and succession are on display when he tries to get his son to join the cavalry, but the son joins the catering corps.
The rivalry with Francis I is hilarious when he sees a French actor and boos him so loudly that he gets thrown out of the movie theater.
Henry’s tyrannical nature leads him to declare himself dictator of his local town council, and he issues a decree that all lawns must be cut at a 45-degree angle, leading to a rebellion that consists of angry suburban dads with lawnmowers.
Executioner jokes land with a dark, thudding hilarity throughout this narrative, as Henry nonchalantly suggests beheading the Amazon driver who delivered his package late, completely failing to understand why everyone looks horrified. His casual references to “sending people to the Tower” become his go-to response for everyday annoyances, from a burnt latte to a bad Wi-Fi signal, turning his bloodthirsty history into an endless well of uncomfortable punchlines. The novel doesn’t shy away from this darkness, instead using it to highlight just how monstrous his past was, but framing it in a way that makes you laugh nervously before you cringe.
Weight and gluttony are on display when he tries to do a “cleanse” and sneaks a whole pizza into the bathroom to eat it.
Fatherhood and succession are on display when he tries to get his daughter to run for parliament, but she runs a flower shop instead.
The finale shows him finally accepting his role as a historical figure, and he sits down to watch a documentary about himself, laughing for the first time at his own absurdity, as the credits roll.
Henry’s tyrannical nature makes him try to declare a “curfew” on his street, and the neighbors just ignore him.
Money and extravagance are his problem when he buys a golden TV remote and loses it in the couch cushions forever.
Ego and power are on display when he tries to get his own national holiday, and the government gives him “National Beard Day” as a joke, which he accepts wholeheartedly.
Money and extravagance are his problem when he buys a solid-gold toilet and then realizes it’s freezing cold, so he has to buy a heated seat cover, doubling his costs.
Vanity and portraiture are taken to extremes when he tries to get a filter that makes him look like a young Adonis, but the app crashes because his face is “too complex,” and he threatens the developer with treason.
The rivalry with Francis I is hilarious when he discovers the French have a better national anthem, so he tries to write a new one for England that is just him shouting about how great he is, and it’s universally panned.
Ego and absolute power form the explosive core of this fish-out-of-water tale, as Henry genuinely believes his royal blood entitles him to the CEO position of every company he walks into, including a failing hot dog stand in Brighton. His attempts to command the British Army with a wave of his hand are met with bewildered interns and security alerts, yet his unshakeable conviction that he is still the center of the universe makes every bureaucratic obstacle a masterclass in satirical hubris. Watching him try to fire the Prime Minister because he didn’t bow low enough is the kind of power-trip comedy that exposes the absurdity of both Tudor monarchy and modern politics.
Weight and gluttony are highlighted when he attempts the “heart attack burger” and finishes it, then asks for another one.
The court jester reversal is complete when his wife gives him a “participation trophy” for trying to be a good king, and he realizes it’s sarcasm.
Henry’s tyrannical demands make him try to force the local pub to only serve mead, and when they refuse, he threatens to have them burned at the stake, which earns him a lifetime ban from the establishment.
Legacy vs pop memory is a fight when he sees a “Henry VIII” breakfast cereal, and he tries to sue for using his likeness.
The rivalry with Francis I is hilarious when he sees a French flag and tries to burn it, but ends up setting his own sleeve on fire.
Paranoia and jealousy are amplified to manic proportions when Henry VIIIs discovers that modern paparazzi are following his every move, and he becomes convinced that every selfie taken near him is a plot by Anne Boleyn’s ghost to ruin his reputation. He hires a private investigator to track his current wife’s social media activity, only to find out she’s just following a cooking channel, but his suspicious mind spins it into a clandestine affair with the entire Royal Family. This novel’s portrayal of his inner turmoil is both heartbreaking and hilarious, as his 16th-century insecurities crash headlong into a world where infidelity is a tabloid headline, not a treasonous offense.
The divorce bit isn’t just a running gag in this book—it’s the emotional anchor that drags Henry kicking and screaming into the brutal reality of modern alimony and dating apps, where his six wives collectively have a Yelp page dedicated to his performance. Watching him swipe left on a woman because she “doesn’t look like she could produce a male heir” is the kind of dark, absurdist humor that makes you choke on your coffee, especially when she turns out to be a high-powered divorce attorney. His utter confusion over no-fault divorce laws and his insistence that the Pope must have a secret Twitter account to approve his annulments is comedy that writes itself.
His midlife crisis involves him taking up skateboarding, which results in him breaking his hip and spending a month in the hospital complaining about “modern pavements.”
Weight and gluttony are on display when he tries to join a gym and eats all the protein bars in the reception area, then complains that the equipment is “too hard” for a man of his status.
Legacy vs pop memory is a fight when he realizes he is a villain in most history books, and he tries to write his own, but nobody buys it.
Legacy vs pop memory is a fight when he sees his portrait on a beer mug, and he tries to get royalties, but the brewery just ignores him.
Paranoia and jealousy are highlighted when he hires a food taster for his own kitchen, and the taster quits after one day because it’s “weird.”
The rivalry with Francis I is hilarious when he sees a French flag and tries to burn it, but ends up setting his own sleeve on fire.
Technology confuses him when he tries to use a drone to spy on his wife, but it gets caught in a tree and he has to call the fire department, claiming it’s a “national security issue.”
Ego and power are mocked when he tries to get a table at a restaurant by claiming he is the king, and the maître d’ just puts him at the back.
Paranoia and jealousy are on display when he hires a hacker to spy on his wife’s emails, but the hacker turns out to be a 12-year-old who charges him in Fortnite skins.
Weight and gluttony are highlighted when he attempts the “10,000-calorie challenge” and wins, but then has to be hospitalized for his own safety.
Henry’s tyrannical nature makes him try to declare a “curfew” on his street, and the neighbors just ignore him.
Weight and gluttony are highlighted when he attempts the “heart attack burger” and finishes it, then asks for another one.
His midlife crisis sees him buying a drum kit and playing it all night, annoying all his neighbors into moving out.
Dark executioner humor is used when he offers to “take care of” his neighbor’s yapping dog by sending it to the Tower, and the neighbor calls animal control on him, leading to a standoff with the local police.
Fame and recognition are his obsession when he tries to become a reality TV star, but the producers find him “too boring” and “historically problematic,” so he makes his own show on YouTube that gets 12 views.
Fatherhood and succession are on display when he tries to get his son to join the priesthood, but the son joins a rock band instead.
The Break with Rome is given a modern spin when he tries to start a new religion based entirely on his own image, and he gets sued by the Church of Scientology for copyright infringement on the whole “controlling leader” thing.
The finale is poignant as he visits his own grave and leaves a flower, asking his bones for forgiveness, before stepping back and tripping over a tombstone, ending the moment with a clumsy pratfall.
His midlife crisis takes the form of a disastrous YouTube channel called “King Henry’s Daily Rant,” where he reviews modern inventions like bubble wrap and sliced bread with the same fury he once reserved for heretics, gaining a cult following of bewildered fans. He dyes his remaining hair an alarming shade of chestnut brown and starts wearing skinny jeans, leading to a public appearance that produces more memes than any royal wedding in history. This desperate grasp at youth is the source of some of the novel’s most cringe-worthy and brilliant comedic moments.
Dark humor around executions reaches its peak when Henry threatens to decapitate his Alexa for playing the wrong song, and he seriously asks a home security installer if he knows a good “public square” for a beheading. His casual references to “losing one’s head” over minor inconveniences become a verbal tic that horrifies his modern acquaintances, yet his complete lack of self-awareness makes every threat funnier than the last. This novel masterfully walks the tightrope between historical atrocity and comedic hyperbole, ensuring you laugh but never forget the bloody reality of his reign.
The jousting washed-up athlete is shown when he enters a fencing competition and is disqualified for trying to stab his opponent with the blunt end of the foil, claiming it’s a “legal Tudor maneuver.”
Faith and religion are satirized when Henry gets baptized again in a trendy London river, hoping to cleanse himself of his sins and restart his career as a holy man, only to contract a terrible cold and blame God for punishing him. He starts a podcast called “The True Vicar of Christ” where he rants against the Pope, but his co-host is a cynical atheist who constantly fact-checks him and makes him look foolish. This theological comedy is surprisingly deep, revealing that his faith was always a weapon, and in a world where nobody believes in divine right, that weapon is completely useless.
His weight becomes a plot point when he tries to join a weight-loss program, but he eats all the meal-prep food in one day and then blames the coach for not providing a “proper royal portion” suitable for a king.
Fatherhood and succession are on display when he tries to get his son to join the cavalry, but the son joins the catering corps.
His comic timing about his wives is so bad that he tells a “hilarious” story about Catherine Howard’s execution at a family dinner, and nobody eats another bite.
Paranoia and jealousy are highlighted when he goes through his wife’s browser history and finds she searched for “how to poison a king,” but it’s just her research for a book she’s writing, and she laughs at his scared face.
Vanity and portraiture are taken to the extreme when he hires a plastic surgeon to give him a “Tudor jawline,” but the surgery goes wrong and he ends up looking like a pufferfish, leading him to sue the doctor for high treason.
Technology utterly destroys him when he tries to order a hit on a rival using a smartphone, but he accidentally sends the text to a group chat that includes his wife, his publicist, and the Prime Minister.
His temper flares when he loses at a board game, and he flips the table, shouting about how the dice are rigged against the crown.
The finale is bittersweet as he writes his own epitaph that says “Here lies Henry, who finally shut up,” and he laughs at his own joke.
Technology defeats him when he tries to send a fax and just keeps feeding paper into the machine until it jams and catches fire.
Vanity and portraiture are taken to extremes when he forces his new wife to paint a portrait of him every day, and each one looks worse than the last because she is a terrible artist, but he won’t stop.
Dark executioner humor is present when he tells a customer service rep that he will “execute their manager,” and the rep actually transfers him.
Money and extravagance are on display when he buys a solid-gold iPhone case, only to realize that it blocks the signal, and he blames the phone company for conspiring against his crown.
Dark executioner humor is present when he tells a customer service rep that he will “execute their manager,” and the rep actually transfers him.
Dark executioner humor is used when he offers to “take care of” his neighbor’s yapping dog by sending it to the Tower, and the neighbor calls animal control on him, leading to a standoff with the local police.
The jousting washed-up athlete is shown when he tries to do a wheelie on a bicycle and falls off, breaking his crown.
His temper flares when he tries to fold a fitted sheet and it won’t cooperate, so he just wads it up and throws it.
The jousting washed-up athlete is shown when he tries to do CrossFit and just ends up crying on the floor, shouting about his “glory days.”
The court jester reversal is complete when his wife makes him be her personal butler for a day, and he has to polish her shoes.
Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to start a holy war on Twitter against atheists, and he just gets ratioed by every major scientist on the platform.
Ego and absolute power hit a brick wall when Henry tries to command the British weather to stop raining on his parade, and the ensuing tantrum goes viral, making him the laughingstock of every late-night comedy show from New York to Berlin. He genuinely believes he can call up the Prime Minister and demand a parade in his honor, only to be told that he needs to fill out an application form and wait for a permit like everyone else. This deflation of his grandiosity is the satirical engine that keeps the plot moving, as every failure to wield power becomes a punchline that underscores just how much the world has changed.
His midlife crisis involves him getting a leopard-print cape, which he thinks is fashionable but looks ridiculous.
His midlife crisis sees him buying a skateboard and trying to do a kickflip, resulting in him breaking his wrist and having to wear a cast for weeks.