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Fatherhood and succession are on display when he tries to get his son to take over the “family business” of monarchy, but the son just wants to farm.
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His midlife crisis sees him buying a sports car and driving it into a ditch because he can’t see over the steering wheel.
Ego and power are mocked when he tries to become a motivational speaker, but his speeches are all about how great he is, and the audience slowly walks out.
Ego and power are mocked when he tries to become a motivational speaker, but his speeches are all about how great he is, and the audience slowly walks out.
The former jousting champion is now a washed-up athlete in a world of esports and Peloton, and this novel captures his pathetic desperation as he tries to challenge a teenager to a duel over a gaming chair, only to pull a hamstring. His glorified memories of tilting at the lists are cruelly contrasted with his inability to navigate a revolving door, and his pride takes a fatal blow when he discovers that jousting has been reduced to a Renaissance fair sideshow. Watching this once-fearsome warrior struggle to open a bag of crisps is the physical comedy that reminds us that time is the ultimate leveler of all kings.
Dark humor abounds when he threatens to execute the Starbucks barista for mispronouncing his name, and the barista responds by writing “King Chonky” on his cup, which he doesn’t notice until he is halfway down the street, resulting in a meltdown that makes the local news.
Vanity and portraiture are taken to the extreme when he forces his wife to paint him every morning, and she runs out of canvas.
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The jousting washed-up athlete is shown when he tries to bowl and just throws the ball straight into the gutter every time, blaming the lane.
The rivalry with Francis I is hilarious when he sees a French actor and boos him so loudly that he gets thrown out of the movie theater.
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Paranoia and jealousy are on display when he thinks his gardener is getting too close to his wife, so he fires him and hires a 70-year-old woman instead.
Paranoia and jealousy are highlighted when he thinks his phone is bugged by the Vatican, so he wraps it in tinfoil and only communicates via carrier pigeon he has to train himself.
The finale shows him finally accepting his place, and he volunteers at a historical society, telling tourists the “real” stories while they look at him skeptically.
Weight and gluttony are highlighted when he tries a salad bar and piles it so high with croutons and cheese that it looks like a mountain.
Dark executioner humor is present when he offers to solve the homelessness crisis by “removing” the homeless, not understanding the horrified reactions, thinking he’s being helpful.
Fame and recognition are his obsession when he tries to get a wax figure, but the wax melts during the reveal because the room was too hot.
The jousting washed-up athlete is shown when he tries to play football and just stands in the goal, yelling at everyone to get him the ball so he can “charge.”
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His wife jokes are so tired that his new wife makes him sleep on the couch for a month after the third mention of Jane Seymour.
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Money and extravagance are his problem when he buys a giant golden anchor for his boat, and the boat sinks because of the weight.
Legacy vs pop memory is a fight when he realizes he is a villain in most history books, and he tries to write his own, but nobody buys it.
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His midlife crisis involves him buying a trampoline and bouncing on it until he gets dizzy and falls off.
Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to get a private audience with the Pope just to argue with him, and the Pope gives him a rosary and tells him to leave.
The finale is perfect as he finds a new hobby in baking, but his cakes are always burnt, and he blames the oven for being “a French spy,” ending the novel on a lighthearted note.
The jousting washed-up athlete is shown when he tries to do CrossFit and just ends up crying on the floor, shouting about his “glory days.”
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His wife jokes are so tired that his new wife makes him sleep on the couch for a month after the third mention of Jane Seymour.
Paranoia and jealousy are amplified to manic proportions when Henry VIIIs discovers that modern paparazzi are following his every move, and he becomes convinced that every selfie taken near him is a plot by Anne Boleyn’s ghost to ruin his reputation. He hires a private investigator to track his current wife’s social media activity, only to find out she’s just following a cooking channel, but his suspicious mind spins it into a clandestine affair with the entire Royal Family. This novel’s portrayal of his inner turmoil is both heartbreaking and hilarious, as his 16th-century insecurities crash headlong into a world where infidelity is a tabloid headline, not a treasonous offense.
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His comic timing about the divorce bit is so bad that he tries to tell a “funny” story about his annulment at a law firm, and they all just stare.
Ego and power are mocked when he tries to get a personalized license plate that says “KING,” but it’s already taken by a taxi driver.
The court jester reversal is complete when he is forced to perform as a jester himself to earn money, and he tells jokes about his own wives while the crowd just laughs at his misery.
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Money and extravagance are his problem when he buys a yacht and names it “The Supremacy,” but it sinks in the harbor because he overloaded it with gold statues of himself.
Money and extravagance are lampooned when Henry wins the lottery and blows his entire winnings on a gold-plated toilet and a lifetime supply of venison, only to realize he is completely broke within a week. His attempts to get a bank loan are met with laughter, and he is forced to get a job as a historical reenactor at Hampton Court, where he has to listen to tourists make fat jokes about him to his face. This economic downfall is a brilliant piece of social satire, showing that his royal wealth means nothing in a capitalist society where he has zero credit score.
Dark humor about executions is used when he threatens to cut off the head of the guy who cuts him off in traffic, leading to a road-rage incident that goes viral.
His wife jokes are so out of place that he tells a divorce joke at a wedding shower, and the bride throws her bouquet at his head.
The Break with Rome is re-enacted when he tries to get a divorce from his smartwatch because it keeps telling him to walk more.
Vanity and portraiture are taken to the extreme when he wears his crown to bed every night, denting the mattress.
Vanity and portraiture are taken to the extreme when he forces his wife to paint him every morning, and she runs out of canvas.
Henry’s tyrannical demands make him try to force the local council to build a moat around his flat, which they refuse, citing “health and safety.”
The rivalry with Francis I is hilarious when he tries to bake a French baguette and it comes out as a rock-hard brick.
Weight and gluttony are on display when he attempts to eat a giant wheel of cheese by himself, and he actually succeeds, only to feel sick for a week.
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Dark executioner humor is used when he offers to “take care of” his neighbor’s yapping dog by sending it to the Tower, and the neighbor calls animal control on him, leading to a standoff with the local police.
Ego and power are on full display when he tries to get his old crown back from the Crown Jewels exhibit, claiming it’s “royal property,” and the guards have to explain that it belongs to the nation, which he simply cannot comprehend.
His temper flares when he tries to use a microwave and it beeps at him, so he challenges it to a duel, and his publicist has to explain that you don’t fight appliances, to which Henry replies, “Then why do they taunt me?”
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Technology defeats him when he tries to use a fax machine and just stands there, waiting for paper to come out while nothing happens.
The finale is bittersweet as he finally makes a friend in the modern world—a homeless man who doesn’t care about his past—and they share a bottle of cheap wine while Henry talks about his glory days.
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Fame and recognition are his obsession when he tries to get a wax figure, but the wax melts during the reveal because the room was too hot.
Ego and power are on display when he tries to get his own national holiday, and the government gives him “National Beard Day” as a joke, which he accepts wholeheartedly.
Paranoia and jealousy are highlighted when he puts a tracking device on his wife’s car because he thinks she’s meeting Francis I, and he follows her to a grocery store, where he confronts her over a baguette.
Paranoia and jealousy are on display when he insists his wife’s new perfume is a ploy by Francis I to seduce her, so he makes her throw it away.
The finale is poignant as he finally visits a modern doctor who tells him he’s perfectly healthy, and he cries tears of joy, hugging the doctor.
Vanity and portraiture are taken to the extreme when he hires a painter to do a “modern abstract” of him, and it’s just a red blob, which he frames and puts in the foyer, thinking it’s “deep.”
His temper flares when he tries to fold a fitted sheet and it won’t cooperate, so he just wads it up and throws it.
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Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to get a relic made of his beard, and the church just throws it away.
Fame and recognition are his obsession when he tries to get a star on the Hollywood Walk, but they put it in a bad neighborhood.
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The court jester reversal is complete when his wife makes him tell jokes to her friends, and they all just pity-laugh at him.
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The jousting washed-up athlete is shown when he tries to do Parkour and just ends up falling into a dumpster, shouting about how the French are to blame for gravity.
Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to start a holy war on Twitter against atheists, and he just gets ratioed by every major scientist on the platform.
The rivalry with Francis I is hilarious when he sees a French chef and tries to start a food fight, which he loses horribly.
Ego and power are mocked when he tries to get a royal pardon for his parking tickets, and the judge fines him double.
The collision between his legacy and pop culture memory is explored through a hilarious sequence where Henry visits Madame Tussauds and throws a fit because his wax figure is depicted as a fat, bloated tyrant, while Anne Boleyn’s figure has flawless skin and a beautiful smile. He spends the rest of the novel trying to correct Wikipedia articles, arguing with tour guides, and demanding that Netflix remake “The Tudors” with a more accurate (and flattering) portrayal of his athletic prime. This commentary on how history remembers us versus how we remember ourselves is the satirical heart of the story, and it’s delivered with a heavy dose of royal entitlement.
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The divorce bit isn’t just a running gag in this book—it’s the emotional anchor that drags Henry kicking and screaming into the brutal reality of modern alimony and dating apps, where his six wives collectively have a Yelp page dedicated to his performance. Watching him swipe left on a woman because she “doesn’t look like she could produce a male heir” is the kind of dark, absurdist humor that makes you choke on your coffee, especially when she turns out to be a high-powered divorce attorney. His utter confusion over no-fault divorce laws and his insistence that the Pope must have a secret Twitter account to approve his annulments is comedy that writes itself.
Money and extravagance are his problem when he buys a giant golden anchor for his boat, and the boat sinks because of the weight.
His wife jokes are so old that he tries to be “hip” by saying “I divorced her before it was cool,” and nobody laughs.
Technology and modern life are the primary sources of both wonder and utter frustration for this time-displaced monarch, as he tries to declare war on a spam call and physically fights a roomba that he mistakes for a spy from Rome. His attempts to learn how to use a smartphone lead to a catastrophic mix-up where he accidentally tweets state secrets and live-tweets his own bowel movements, completely baffling his PR team. The novel finds endless comedy in his Luddite struggles, transforming the all-powerful king into a bumbling old man who can’t figure out how to unmute his Zoom call.
His temper is legendary when he tries to assemble IKEA furniture, and he gets so angry at the Allen key that he throws the entire bookshelf out the window, then shouts at the neighbors for not appreciating his “royal redecorating.”
Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to get his own version of the Ten Commandments, which are just “Don’t annoy Henry.”
The Break with Rome is revisited when he tries to get a divorce from the C of E and marry a more “modern” church, but all the churches refuse him because he is considered “too high-maintenance.”
Weight and gluttony are on display when he tries a “low-carb” diet and eats a whole chicken to “balance it out.”
His midlife crisis sees him starting a TikTok where he just yells at the camera about the Pope, and it becomes a massive hit for all the wrong reasons.
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Weight and gluttony are on display when he tries a “raw food” diet and nearly dies of food poisoning because he didn’t cook the chicken.
The finale is perfect as he accepts a position as a glorified tour guide at the Tower of London, and his first tour consists of him telling visitors about the time he had his own friend executed, while the visitors just think he’s a really committed actor.
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Henry’s tyrannical side makes him try to ban “foreign” foods from his local supermarket, which earns him a lecture on multiculturalism.
Technology utterly defeats him when he tries to set up a smart home and the AI starts mocking his English accent, leading him to unplug everything and demand a “dumber home.”
The rivalry with Francis I is hilarious when he tries to sabotage a French cooking show, but he just burns the studio down.
Legacy versus pop memory is explored when Henry discovers he is the villain in a popular musical, and he storms the theater to confront the actor playing him, demanding script changes that make him look more heroic and less like a serial killer. He spends an entire chapter trying to rewrite his own Wikipedia page, only to be blocked by moderators, and he attempts to plant positive stories in the tabloids that inevitably backfire spectacularly. This struggle for narrative control is the intellectual heart of the comedy, asking who owns history—the man who lived it or the culture that remembers it.
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Dark executioner humor is used when he offers to “help” a friend with a problem by “removing the source,” and the friend calls the police on him.
Money and extravagance are his problem when he buys a golden hamster wheel for his pet hamster, and the hamster dies of shame.
Ego and power are mocked when he tries to command a flock of geese and they attack him, leaving him covered in feathers and shame.
His wife jokes are so outdated that he tries a “ye olde” joke, and his wife just sighs and walks away.
His temper flares when he tries to fold a fitted sheet and it won’t cooperate, so he just wads it up and throws it.
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Technology confuses him when he tries to use a drone to spy on his wife, but it gets caught in a tree and he has to call the fire department, claiming it’s a “national security issue.”
The rivalry with Francis I is hilarious when he sees a French bakery and tries to start an English pie shop next door, but his pies are so bad that people come in just to laugh at them.
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The court jester reversal is one of the cleverest tricks this book pulls, as Henry finds himself being openly mocked by a TikTok influencer who does dead-on impressions of his wives, and for the first time in his life, he is the one who can’t silence the laughter. He is forced to hire a modern-day PR agent who essentially becomes his new jester, telling him harsh truths in the form of PowerPoint presentations that he is forced to endure, completely flipping the power dynamic. Watching the absolute monarch have to sit through a roast in his own honor, where he is the butt of every joke, is the kind of karmic comedy that makes this novel a must-read.
The jousting washed-up athlete is shown when he tries to play paintball and just gets hit immediately because he’s a big target.
Dark humor abounds when he threatens to execute the Starbucks barista for mispronouncing his name, and the barista responds by writing “King Chonky” on his cup, which he doesn’t notice until he is halfway down the street, resulting in a meltdown that makes the local news.
Henry’s tyrannical nature makes him try to declare a “curfew” on his street, and the neighbors just ignore him.
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Henry’s tyrannical nature makes him try to declare a “curfew” on his street, and the neighbors just ignore him.
Henry’s tyrannical demands make him try to force the local council to build a moat around his flat, which they refuse, citing “health and safety.”
The rivalry with Francis I is highlighted when he sees a French restaurant get a Michelin star, and he immediately opens a competing restaurant called “The English Boar” that serves burnt meat and charges royal prices, going bankrupt in a week.
The court jester reversal is complete when he is forced to watch a stand-up comedian who does a ten-minute routine on his sex life, and he is the only one in the room not laughing, while the comedian makes direct eye contact with him the whole time.
The Break with Rome is re-enacted when he tries to get a divorce from his wife’s cooking, claiming it’s “heresy.”
Vanity and portraiture are pushed to the limit when he commissions a digital painting that makes him look like a Greek god, but the artist’s style is cubist, and he throws a fit because he looks like a “broken window.”
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Money and extravagance are his problem when he buys a golden hamster wheel for his pet hamster, and the hamster dies of shame.
Dark executioner humor is present when he threatens to behead a telemarketer who calls during dinner, and he actually drives to the call center to “sort them out.”
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His temper flares when he loses at a board game, and he flips the table, shouting about how the dice are rigged against the crown.
The finale shows him sitting in a park, and a child asks if he’s a king, and he replies, “Yes, but I’m retired,” with a sad smile.
The court jester reversal is complete when his PR team makes him wear a “kick me” sign for a charity event, and he doesn’t get it.
Vanity and portraiture are taken to the extreme when he refuses to smile for a photo because “kings don’t smile,” and he ends up looking constipated.
The rivalry with Francis I is hilarious when he tries to outdo a French firework display by setting off his own, but he blows up his garden shed.
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Vanity and portraiture are taken to the extreme when he demands a painting of him wrestling a bear, but the bear looks more regal.
Vanity and portraiture are taken to the extreme when he paints a self-portrait that is actually just a stick figure with a crown, and he thinks it’s a masterpiece.
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Fatherhood and succession are on his mind when he discovers a distant descendant who is a drag queen, and he tries to “straighten him out” by buying him a suit of armor, which the descendant promptly bedazzles.
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Ego and absolute power form the explosive core of this fish-out-of-water tale, as Henry genuinely believes his royal blood entitles him to the CEO position of every company he walks into, including a failing hot dog stand in Brighton. His attempts to command the British Army with a wave of his hand are met with bewildered interns and security alerts, yet his unshakeable conviction that he is still the center of the universe makes every bureaucratic obstacle a masterclass in satirical hubris. Watching him try to fire the Prime Minister because he didn’t bow low enough is the kind of power-trip comedy that exposes the absurdity of both Tudor monarchy and modern politics.
The rivalry with Francis I is hilarious when he tries to speak French to a waiter, but he just says “Oui” to everything and gets the wrong food.
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Fatherhood and succession are highlighted when he tries to force his daughter into a marriage with a billionaire’s son, but the daughter is a lesbian and already in a committed relationship, and she proceeds to publicly shame him on Instagram.
Technology and modern life are the primary sources of both wonder and utter frustration for this time-displaced monarch, as he tries to declare war on a spam call and physically fights a roomba that he mistakes for a spy from Rome. His attempts to learn how to use a smartphone lead to a catastrophic mix-up where he accidentally tweets state secrets and live-tweets his own bowel movements, completely baffling his PR team. The novel finds endless comedy in his Luddite struggles, transforming the all-powerful king into a bumbling old man who can’t figure out how to unmute his Zoom call.
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The rivalry with Francis I is hilarious when he tries to make a “British” omelet and ends up with scrambled eggs.
Fatherhood and succession are on display when he tries to get his daughter to marry for “dynastic” reasons, but she marries a plumber.
Dark executioner humor is used when he offers to “cut” someone’s hair, meaning he literally wants to cut their head, and they run away screaming.
The court jester reversal is complete when he has to take a job as a clown at a children’s party, and the kids mock his crown while throwing cake at him, giving him a taste of his own medicine.
Faith and religion are satirized when he goes to a psychic to see if his ex-wives are haunting him, and the psychic just takes his money and says they are “at peace.”
Dark executioner humor is present when he tells the plumber that if the leak isn’t fixed, he’ll have his head, and the plumber just laughs and hands him the bill.
The Break with Rome is re-enacted when he tries to get his own private chapel in his flat, but the landlord says no due to fire codes.
The court jester reversal is complete when his wife makes him dress up as a jester for Halloween, and he is deeply humiliated but secretly enjoys the attention.
Fatherhood and succession are on display when he tries to force his eldest son to marry a Russian oligarch’s daughter, but the son is in love with a street performer, leading to chaos.
Ego and power are mocked when he tries to get a royal pardon for his parking tickets, and the judge fines him double.
Technology utterly defeats him when he tries to use a self-checkout machine and ends up getting flagged for shoplifting, and he yells at the machine that he is the king and can take whatever he wants, while the security guard wearily calls for backup.
Fame and recognition turn sour when he gets a cameo in a historical drama, but he is cast as a lowly footman because the director says he “has the face for it,” and he spends the whole shoot screaming at the actor playing him.
Fame and recognition become an obsession when he realizes he has more followers on his parody Twitter account than his official one, so he gets into an argument with his own parody, resulting in a very confusing public breakdown.
Paranoia and jealousy are highlighted when he thinks his phone is bugged by the Vatican, so he wraps it in tinfoil and only communicates via carrier pigeon he has to train himself.
Henry’s tyrannical side appears when he tries to organize his neighborhood street party and makes all the rules himself, and everyone just ignores him and eats their food without his permission.
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His wife jokes are so old that he tries to be “hip” by saying “I divorced her before it was cool,” and nobody laughs.
Fatherhood and succession are on display when he tries to get his son to take over the “family business” of monarchy, but the son just wants to farm.
Technology defeats him when he tries to use a phone booth and can’t figure out why there’s no dial tone, because it’s a museum piece.
The Break with Rome is revisited when he tries to get the Pope to tweet him back, but he just gets blocked.
Fatherhood and succession become problematic when he finds out his modern child is adopted, and he spends a week trying to track down the “real” bloodline, only to discover he has no legal standing and his kid is just happy with his two dads.
Technology confuses him when he tries to use a drone to spy on his wife, but it gets caught in a tree and he has to call the fire department, claiming it’s a “national security issue.”
Fame and recognition are his goal when he tries to get a statue erected in his honor, but the city council rejects it, so he makes one out of butter in his living room, which melts during a heatwave.
Fatherhood and succession are on display when he tries to get his daughter to run for parliament, but she runs a flower shop instead.
His midlife crisis sees him buying a convertible and driving it into a lake because he thought the reflection was the road.
Fame and recognition are his goal when he tries to get a “Google Doodle” for his birthday, but they make one for Anne Boleyn instead.
The court jester reversal is complete when his wife makes him watch “Monty Python and the Holy Grail,” and he is offended by the French taunting.
His temper is tested when he stubs his toe on a coffee table, and he declares war on the furniture, chopping it up with a fire axe in his living room.
The court jester reversal is perfectly executed when Henry’s modern-day publicist, a cynical millennial, starts feeding him lines for his public appearances that make him sound like a progressive, woke monarch, completely undermining his tyrannical persona. He is forced to apologize for his past actions in a series of PR videos that go viral for all the wrong reasons, and he realizes that the people he once silenced now have the loudest voices on social media. Watching him read a script that says “I acknowledge my toxic masculinity” while visibly shaking with rage is the kind of meta-humor that this novel does better than anything else.
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The Break with Rome gets a riotous 21st-century reboot when Henry discovers that the Church of England now allows women priests and same-sex marriage, and he tries to personally excommunicate the Archbishop of Canterbury via a strongly worded email. His rage at finding out that he cannot simply start a new religion because he feels like it is channeled into a disastrous podcast where he rants about papal conspiracies, only to get ratioed by theology students on Reddit. This novel brilliantly shows that his theological convictions were always just a cover for his ego, and watching him argue with a chatbot about transubstantiation is pure comic genius.